How to handle a child's excessive lying when family normalizes it
When a child lies constantly and their own parent normalizes the behavior, family members are left trying to protect younger children from believing the falsehoods or copying the habits without causing major conflict. This dynamic creates severe trust issues and leaves household members feeling powerless as the lying escalates from small fibs to major deceptive actions.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
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How to handle a child's excessive lying when family normalizes it
- 1Telling the younger child to ask parents to confirm if something is true or notDid this help you?
- 2Hiding or confiscating the purchased itemsDid this help you?
- 3Changing phone locks and account passwordsDid this help you?
- 4Requiring the child to do chores to pay back the moneyDid this help you?
- 5Making the child return the items to the storeDid this help you?
- 6Giving them another opportunity to be honest by reassuring them they are not in troubleDid this help you?
- 7Going for a drive alone together to have a private conversation away from overreacting family membersDid this help you?
- 8Laying out the evidence neutrally instead of asking a question you already know the answer toDid this help you?
- 9checking his homeworkDid this help you?
- 10making a checklist/schedule for him to followDid this help you?
- 11taking away his computer timeDid this help you?
- 12giving him a safe space to tell the truthDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My son is 17, today he lied to me after I asked him if he used my vehicle while I was gone on a 3 day work trip.”source ↗
“I have to approach this lightly because he thinks very highly of my opinion of him so if he thinks I’m disappointed in him he’ll shut down.”source ↗
“So, my almost 12 YO so took my phone today, while I was taking a quick nap & he placed a delivery order from Walmart for a bunch of candy...”source ↗
“He then told my mom (his only Grandma, that we live with) that I got him some candy... yeah, I would've with an order I would've placed soon... BUT NOT a $40 order of ONLY candy!!!”source ↗
“I have a 10 year old boy who's been having some behavioral issues lately and am wondering what to do. For one thing, he is often careless and irresponsible. He'll forget homework, chores, leave things behind, etc.”source ↗
“The other troubling issue is his lying. Lying about having finished his homework, returning things, and so on.”source ↗
“In the last 6 months G has started lying excessively. It started with small fibs, but has since progressed to the point where everything she says is untrue.”source ↗
“My oldest knows, but is getting to the point she no longer wants to be around her because of it. But my youngest believes everything she says.”source ↗
“I don’t particularly want to call L out and start drama, but I also don’t want my children to see this behaviour and think it’s okay.”source ↗
Where this came up
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