Said It Here

Is it rude to skip a distant wedding when travel and money are tight?

Attending a wedding out of state often requires burning PTO, paying for flights or hours of gas, and navigating terrible holiday or Sunday night schedules. When travel clashes with your own major life events or tight finances, trying to make it work creates massive logistical stress and forces you to question whether the trip is genuinely worth the hassle.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    Skipping the wedding entirely due to work and travel constraints
  2. 2
    Driving separately just for the ceremony to limit time away
  3. 3
    Trying to request time off well in advance
  4. 4
    politely decline because of the travel/work logistics
  5. 5
    fly to Miami and make a weekend out of it
  6. 6
    take Monday off and stay an extra night

In their words

Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.

“So my fiancé and I have a wedding next year 4th of July weekend, the same month that him and I are getting married.”source ↗

“I can’t get the PTO off of work as it’s a holiday weekend”source ↗

“I’d have to drive separately 3.5 hours one way just for the ceremony and then head back in the morning.. and I’d probably have to call off work that day.”source ↗

“Also, because the wedding is the same month as ours id like to save everything I can to pay for it and not spend 6hrs of gas money going to a wedding for a night.”source ↗

“Am I being unreasonable or rude by not attending?”source ↗

Imapissandshitboy · r/weddingplanning · 9 upvotes

“A close friend is getting married in Miami, but we all live in Connecticut.”source ↗

“The wedding is on a Sunday night, which makes me hesitant because it would mean flying down, staying at least a night or two, and then dealing with the travel back to CT around the beginning of the workweek.”source ↗

“For those who have done something similar, would you consider it worth the hassle and expense to attend a close friend’s wedding in another state, especially when it involves flying and a Sunday night wedding?”source ↗

InflationLarge5624 · r/weddingplanning · 3 upvotes

Where this came up

r/weddingplanningrelationshipstravelwedding planningweddings

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