Why doesn't my family understand my career choice?
Families often misinterpret the demands of studying for professional exams as having excessive free time, or judge fulfilling, non-traditional career paths against conventional standards of success and wealth. This constant questioning and lack of comprehension exhausts candidates and creates a painful disconnect, leaving people feeling undervalued by the very people closest to them.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
Why doesn't my family understand my career choice?
- 1seeking validation from peers or online communities who understand the workDid this help you?
- 2venting online to others in similar rolesDid this help you?
- 3accepting the disconnect and focusing on personal fulfillmentDid this help you?
- 4Hiding career aspirations or subjects of interest from family members to avoid conflictDid this help you?
- 5Delaying telling parents until forced to by life stages such as entering universityDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My parents see me as a failure for not chasing a more lucrative career and don’t understand why to me, working here is my dream and version of “making it” big time.”source ↗
“I have a similar disconnect - they are glad I'm happy but honestly don't understand why I'm not living in NYC running the Metropolitan Opera, rather than my very fulfilling job running a community center in the community that means the most to me.”source ↗
“Every week someone in my family will ask this question and they are starting to comment how I have a lot of free time. It’s honestly starting to piss me off because they keep asking me and commenting repeatedly.”source ↗
“Im so fucking exhausted bc I already know that I’ll probably only wind up doing this for a few years and then pivot to literally anything else but they can’t seem to comprehend that.”source ↗
“Llevo varios años siendo maestro de infantil y nunca he tenido problemas en el trabajo, pero quiero contaros una experiencia que tuve hace años con mis padres: Resulta que desde los 7 años tenía claro que quería ser maestro de infantil, sin embargo; nunca se lo dije a nadie porque soy hombre y tenía miedo a ser juzgado.”source ↗
“Cuando terminé bachillerato el próximo paso era la universidad, y finalmente a los 17 años tuve que decirles a mis padres que quería estudiar Educación infantil, y como suponía; no se lo tomaron nada bien. Me dijeron cosas como: "Se gana poco dinero", "las condiciones laborales son muy malas", "es un trabajo solo de mujeres", "no te va a gustar" etc...”source ↗
“Después de estar 3 horas hablando, lo aceptaron, pero vi perfectamente como mostraron caras de "decepción" y nuestra relación disminuyo bastante.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 19Is teaching still a realistic option for me?
- 7Am I too unstable mentally to be a teacher?
- 5What career paths are parents suggesting for high school graduates?
- 23Should I get an accounting certificate or degree while working?
- 4Imposter syndrome when changing jobs after working solo
- 3Can I afford to take a career break?