Handling childcare and bedtime routines completely alone while working
Mismatched work schedules leave one parent managing all evening childcare and bedtime routines by themselves every day. This imbalance causes deep loneliness, growing resentment, and total burnout, while completely eliminating any time for personal rest or enjoyment.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Negotiating equal amounts of downtime and dividing morning responsibilities or household chores.
- 2Considering separation or figuring out how to be a single parent.
- 3Attending marriage counseling
- 4Having calm sit-down discussions about solutions and free time equity
- 5Getting a babysitter to carve out time for communication
- 6Taking things one day or one minute at a time
- 7Building a local village and finding support groups at libraries or parks
- 8Finding childcare services at religious congregations for adult interaction
- 9Taking personal time in the morning to meditate and breathe
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I feel like my partner continues to put his own needs first, and I’m becoming more and more frustrated and resentful because of it.”source ↗
“since becoming parents, I’ve taken on almost all of the day to day childcare responsibilities on top of my job and she has become very attached to me.”source ↗
“I go to work, get off work (pick up kids) and take care of them by myself with the whole evening and bed time routine.”source ↗
“I feel as if I will be a single parent. I am also growing resentful.”source ↗
“This is going to leave me burnt out, lonely, and resentful. I feel we are living two separate lives. Where is my break? Enjoyment? Rest?”source ↗
“We have been having many fights over it lately and I just needed to vent here since it is starting to feel lonely”source ↗
“Me and my partner have separated.”source ↗
“I am so utterly terrified of having to parent completely alone, I’m almost graduated my college program but I wanted to go back to school and everything just feels very hard.”source ↗
“I’ve made quite a bad habit of co sleeping with my 15 month old and I think I will also need to break that since my partner is taking the bed and leaving me with a twin bed.”source ↗
“How do you handle 3 on your own when your partner is not around?”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
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- 7How do you manage a newborn and a toddler alone?
- 7How to handle chores when your toddler demands attention
- 9How to balance wedding planning with a full time job