Groomsmen refusing to buy wedding shoes
Groomsmen often resist buying specific-colored shoes, like blue, because they feel they will never wear them again. This conflict leaves couples stuck between compromising their wedding aesthetic or forcing bridal party members to purchase items they view as a waste of money.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Allowing groomsmen to wear standard black or brown shoes they already ownDid this help you?
- 2Having the groomsmen rent different suits that match alternative shoe colorsDid this help you?
- 3Letting go of the specific shoe color requirement to avoid conflictDid this help you?
- 4Looking at specific dress brands or single websites like Azazie to ensure color matchingDid this help you?
- 5Selecting a curated palette of 2 to 3 colors and styles for bridesmaids to choose fromDid this help you?
- 6Covering bridesmaids' dresses, hair, and makeup costs out of pocketDid this help you?
- 7Mailing proposal cards, letters, or small jewelry pieces instead of elaborate gift boxesDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I’ve never actually been a bridesmaid myself (although I’ve been to bachelorettes), so I’m realizing I have no idea what’s expected”source ↗
“I recently moved to a new city, so none of my closest friends live near me”source ↗
“For some reason, I feel about guilty, asking people to spend money on me to be a bridesmaid, even though I know my friends are excited to do so”source ↗
“The dresses are also stressing me out. I don’t love the idea of putting six different women with different body types into one specific dress that might look amazing on one person and terrible on another.”source ↗
“As a man, and one that is very particular about my footwear, I am not wearing blue shoes with anything, also, as a professional, I am never going out without a belt.”source ↗
“Groomsmen immediately formed a different group chat and started telling the groom that they don’t want to buy the shoes because they will never wear them again if they are blue”source ↗
“I told the groom that if the groomsman refuse to wear the shoes in the color I picked then they can rent a suit that matches the color they want to wear because the color they want to wear does not go with the outfit I picked. Am I being unreasonable? I truly cannot see it and need help.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 5How to plan a wedding without annoying your bridal party
- 17How to handle wedding planning disagreements with your partner
- 15How to exclude toxic family members from a wedding without drama
- 4How to give family wedding jobs without starting drama
- 8How to find a new wedding dress tailor after yours closes
- 2How to survive a terrible family vacation