Why is traveling with a baby and toddler so miserable?
Constant disruptions to normal schedules and extreme sleep deprivation turn family vacations into an exhausting ordeal. These challenges make parents regret taking trips and eventually stop traveling altogether, even when they need to visit family overseas.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Waiting until children are older (elementary age or in school) before taking major trips
- 2Sticking to short road trips when children are very young
- 3Choosing simple nature-based destinations like camping or the beach rather than sightseeing or resorts
- 4Traveling with extra family members or grandparents for support
- 5Accounting for an extra 15 to 30 minute buffer
- 6Planning for the reasonable time to take three times longer
- 7Lying about the departure time to account for delays
- 8Booking Premium Economy instead of Business Class to stay within arms reach
- 9Choosing aircraft with open 2-2-2 seating configurations or across-the-aisle seats rather than private pods
- 10Holding the child on a lap for a large portion of the flight
- 11Downgrading to economy class
- 12Flexing schedules to accommodate naps on the go in a stroller, carrier, or under a beach umbrella
- 13Splitting parenting duties so one parent handles the older child while the other cares for the baby
- 14Sending only one parent and the older child on the trip while staying home with the infant
- 15Checking with the resort ahead of time for amenities like cribs and pack-and-plays to reduce packing
- 16Lowering expectations and treating the trip as parenting in a new location rather than a relaxing vacation
- 17Booking direct flights
- 18Flying into one city and out of another to minimize backtracking
- 19Taking a train straight to the destination instead of stopping
- 20taking lots of snacks and card games
- 21using travel games to keep kids occupied
- 22letting kids use phones and devices
- 23backing out of the trip
- 24attending despite the anxiety and financial burden
- 25Booking bulkhead seats with a bassinet
- 26Resting the child's head on a lap to sleep
- 27telling kids only a couple of days or a week ahead of time instead of weeks in advance
- 28using a countdown chain or paper loops so they can visualize when the trip is happening
- 29talking about the trip vaguely as happening 'someday' to build excitement without setting a concrete timeline
- 30keeping it a complete surprise until the day of travel
- 31making a spreadsheet of recommended restaurants
- 32aiming for longer lunches instead of dinners past bedtimes
- 33Buying an extra seat for the child
- 34Using travel bed or seat extender products like JetKids or Plane Pal
- 35Baby wearing during the flight
- 36Bringing extra distractions, new toys, and exciting snacks
- 37Using limited screen time
- 38Walking up and down the airplane aisles
- 39relying on children sleeping or coloring
- 40preordering special kids meals
- 41visiting an airport playground before border control
- 42Leaving the toddler with a grandparent while the rest of the family goes on the trip
- 43Utilizing family-swap or rider-swap programs at the theme park to manage rides with multiple children
- 44baby wearing
- 45requesting a pat down
- 46checking bags to reduce carry-on items to baby-related necessities in a backpack
- 47Staying on Crete and renting a car to explore more of the island
- 48Flying towards home and stopping in destinations like Mallorca or Copenhagen
- 49Picking resorts based on personal experiences with altitude sickness or drive times
- 50Staying at resort properties like Zephyr Mountain Lodge or Parry Peak Lofts that offer walkable locations
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“We’re currently on vacation with a toddler and an infant and I’m wondering why we even did this. I haven’t slept longer than two hours consecutively and everyone is out of their routine and miserable.”source ↗
“At first i was happy to go to vacations but now i am having a mental breakdown trying to figure out how to behave with a baby in vacations. All i think is all hid routine will be thrown out of the window.”source ↗
“I work from home with him and i have worked so hard to have a routine, so i am terrified all my work will be useless from when wr come back. Also, i will meed to pack half of the house.”source ↗
“What would you consider a reasonable amount of time to leave the house with kids between ages 4-10?”source ↗
“imagine during an hour or two long turbulence where he has to sit in his own pod, buckled, by himself.”source ↗
“I am having anxiety about the situation because my LO has never been on a plane, I envision him having a meltdown.”source ↗
“I am torn - I want to be there for my friend and show my support, but I’m worried about the flight and financial burden.”source ↗
“She attended my destination wedding so I feel obligated to attend hers. What would you do? Am I a terrible friend if I back out?”source ↗
“We are trying to decide if we should take our two year old to Disneyland along with our five year old. The alternative is she spends the five days at grandmas house.”source ↗
“We are debating because I think she may enjoy the rides and the park, but my husband thinks she may be too tired, fussy, and little to enjoy them.”source ↗
“The bigger issue is the entirety of my husbands family is going, and I just worry she may look at pictures down the line and think she was left out, but my mom who plans on watching her says she will keep her entertained and spoiled.”source ↗
“It is even worse if you have the two middle pods and have to circle around the row to help your child next to you.”source ↗
“My stress is the baby and the routine 🤪 my baby is relatively an easy baby however i am not sure how he will behave at the beach.”source ↗
“You can have problems if this is the separate-pod type of business class where you can't see the other seat, because you won't be able to check if he's got up and out of his seat when he is supposed to be belted in.”source ↗
“My family and I are travelling to NZ from the UK next year (splitting the journey up with a few days in Singapore).”source ↗
“My older daughter has flown before, but only short haul daytime journeys, so have no point of reference.”source ↗
“im nervous flying with her especially since ill be doing it by myself due to my husband not being able to get off work.”source ↗
“We had visions of them enjoying the scenic countryside when we booked 6-hour train trips. Yeah. No.”source ↗
“One kid has motion sickness and though he had no issues and had the patches/medicines, by hour 6, he was ready to get off. It was his first time on a longer train ride and I don't think he'll want to do that again any time soon.”source ↗
“Having kids made me stop wanting to go travelling. I have a lot of family overseas, and when the kids were little we had so many problems.”source ↗
“With my 4 year old I always assume it will take 5 mins and it actually takes like 15-20 lol”source ↗
“I now say we have to be gone at 6pm when I want us out the door by 6.30 to 6:45pm otherwise I might have died of a heart attack.”source ↗
“Anything beyond i get thousands of questions and statements (when do we go, is it time ect)”source ↗
“Unless you can handle being asked a million times when you're going or is it time to go yet, then I'd go with what your husband is suggesting.”source ↗
“yeah one time I surprised my daughter (she was 3 so I didn't think it was a big deal) and she cried so much, not happy tears either.”source ↗
“When I was little, I’d inevitably make myself sick with anticipation!”source ↗
“I was so glad we hadn’t told the boys we were going. I hated disappointing them!”source ↗
“We have an international trip in February, Washington state to Brazil. Our little one will be about a year old at the time.”source ↗
“for a 20 hour travel day??? Wtf are we doing with them? She’s veryyyyy distractible and FOMO baby, so I worry the “just hope they sleep” is NOT a solid strategy for us.”source ↗
“The jet lag and additional travel sound rough for that first day”source ↗
“there is a chance we would be miserable that first day there.”source ↗
“I'm making a spreadsheet of restaurants that have been recommended to us, but I'm wondering if anyone has any great food recommendations that are reasonable to have a toddler with (likely no Michelin dinners, sigh...).”source ↗
“We struggled with altitude sickness the one time we went to Breckenridge, have been to Winter Park many times with no issue.”source ↗
“I'm worried that he's gonna want to be next to me, on me, etc... how is he gonna eat alone? Do I bring him to my chair to eat?”source ↗
“Feeling very anxious about it.”source ↗
“Trip has to revolve around the toddler. We love Europe and have been several times, this trip is a toddler trip, so will be different to our ‘walking a million miles, up hill and down dale, stopping for beer and wine’ trip!”source ↗
“I'm looking for recommendations of resorts to take my 1yo and 2yo for a snow trip in December/January that ideally is less than 2h drive from Denver.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
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- 7How do you manage a newborn and a toddler alone?