Partner won't help with the puppy and keeps threatening to get rid of him
One partner often carries the vast majority of the daily care and training responsibilities while the other contributes little, shifts blame, and threatens to give the dog away. This stark imbalance leaves the primary caregiver feeling exhausted, isolated, and unsupported, making it difficult to maintain consistent boundaries or enjoy the process of raising the puppy.
What the numbers show
Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count
- This comes up 27.5× more often in r/puppy101 than across the site as a whole.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Signing up for puppy training classes independently to learn how to set boundaries.Did this help you?
- 2Waking the partner up directly and putting the leash in their handDid this help you?
- 3Taking over the morning duties entirely to ensure the puppy gets trained correctlyDid this help you?
- 4Placing a grass box on a balcony so the puppy doesn't have to wait to go downstairsDid this help you?
- 5Trying to follow trainer instructions of ignoring and walking away from demand barkingDid this help you?
- 6Constantly reminding household members that their reactions encourage bad behaviorDid this help you?
- 7Consulting online communities for reassurance, providing regular routine flea and worm treatments, and booking regular veterinary checkups instead of emergency visits.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My partner instantly got mad and said they carry tapeworms and I need to book an appointment urgently to rid him of worms or parasites.”source ↗
“I take care of our puppy 80% if the time.”source ↗
“Well…this is day 2 of potty training and my bf has waited to long to take him out and of course the puppy can’t hold it.”source ↗
“I feel so frustrated, alone, and disrespected. Ugh. I’m so exhausted. Breaking down crying while typing this.”source ↗
“My partner has been struggling with the new puppy who is 4 months old, every few months he will say "Im considering getting rid of him" and tells his parents everything bit says another thing to me, but he barely does anything with him and he doesnt disclose that to his parents, im taking our puppy training next week, I need some advice on training and enforcing boundaries for the puppy”source ↗
“i have 2 boomers in my house that does the COMPLETE OPPOSITE. They are CONSTANTLY shouting no!”source ↗
“I genuinely feel like they are ruining my puppies training😭. Cause nothing will be funny about a 60kg dog barking for everything and then eventually biting out of frustration.”source ↗
“What can we possibly do in this situation I feel so doomed and borderline feel like we might not even be able to keep him because of THEM!!”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 46How to deal with uncooperative coworkers who don't do their work
- 5How to deal with a disrespectful business partner
- 8Why is my puppy suddenly barking at every dog and person?
- 16Why can't I bond with my adopted dog?
- 5Why does my cat freeze and not respond to touch or sound?
- 9When should you step in during kids' arguments?