Why is my older child having panic attacks at bedtime?
Bedtime can turn into hours of screaming, crying, and panic attacks that drag on until late at night, leaving children petrified of being alone. This intense resistance often forces parents to sit in bed with them just to get them to sleep, pushing all evening chores past 9:30 or 10:30 PM. As a result, parents are left feeling completely exhausted and helpless, believing that simply waiting it out is their only remaining option.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Sitting in a chair next to the bed and moving it progressively closer to the door
- 2Offering bribes such as listening to soft music while staying in bed
- 3Doing evening cleanups after dinner and adjusting bedtime routines earlier
- 4letting the child sleep in bed with the mother
- 5leaving the bedroom door open
- 6Trying various tricks to get the toddler to fall asleep
- 7Considering letting the child cry it out despite reluctance
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Most of the time, she only falls asleep with one of us sitting in her bed and generally that’s 9:30-10:30pm. We crawl out of her room with all of our evening jobs ahead of us.”source ↗
“I feel like I’ve tried everything and now waiting for her to change is the only option.”source ↗
“All of a sudden, she’s striking. She’s taking 2-3 hours each night of crying to eventually fall asleep.”source ↗
“She’s also waking up in the middle of the night wide awake ready to play. I’m exhausted and just have no patience left.”source ↗
“she is petrified of bedtime. She does not want to be on her own, she wants to sleep in bed with her mum, she is screaming, having full on panic attacks at the thought of going to bed.”source ↗
“Whenever anyone mentions bedtime she starts freaking out and crying and screaming uncontrollably.”source ↗
“we can't calm her down, bedtimes are lasting until 8/9/10pm, and the screaming just intensifies and intensifies.”source ↗
Where this came up
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