What to do when your elementary schooler refuses to do homework
When a young child refuses homework and lies about it, parents get caught between school consequences like zeroes and trying to figure out the right discipline at home. This standoff stops family evenings from being peaceful and leaves parents struggling to handle daily school battles without clear guidance.
What the numbers show
Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count
- The most recent one is from October 2026.
- This comes up 14.7× more often in r/Parenting than across the site as a whole.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Letting the child take a zero or accept whatever consequence the teacher assignsDid this help you?
- 2Making the child complete the work anyway regardless of whether it is accepted lateDid this help you?
- 3Implementing additional consequences at home for lying or unfinished workDid this help you?
- 4Giving students a zero for uncompleted workDid this help you?
- 5Entering zeroes in online gradebooks with documentation commentsDid this help you?
- 6Letting students choose their grade and not begging them to workDid this help you?
- 7Enrolling children in public school or charter schoolDid this help you?
- 8Paying for professional tutoring or classes so another adult can teach themDid this help you?
- 9Stepping back from homeschooling and transitioning kids to a traditional classroom settingDid this help you?
- 10Creating a visual schedule or chart with picturesDid this help you?
- 11Implementing rewards for completing tasks without remindersDid this help you?
- 12Building homework into a strict afternoon routineDid this help you?
- 13relying on supportive administration when students complainDid this help you?
- 14Grounding the teenager and confiscating all their electronicsDid this help you?
- 15Sending the teenager to therapy (often requiring multiple attempts to find a fit)Did this help you?
- 16Stopping punishments to focus on rebuilding the parent-child connectionDid this help you?
- 17Introducing new hobbies or shared experiences to spark any kind of intrinsic motivationDid this help you?
- 18Considering making them get a minimum-wage job to learn the value of educationDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I have struggled with this and I have not fixed it. But if I could go back in time a year I can tell you what I wish I had done: focus on connection and stop trying to take away privileges.”source ↗
“She’s doing horrible in school. I’ve tried everything to change this. I’ve talked to her teachers. I’ve talked to her. She’s been grounded for a couple months now. I have taken all electronics. She literally goes to school and comes home and sits in her room.”source ↗
“I just literally just tried talking to her. I asked isn’t she sick of just sitting here doing nothing and all she said was she just don’t care. I really don’t know what to do.”source ↗
“One of my main concerns with homeschooling is that my daughter learns better for other people. She just performs better, where as with me she will get emotional if things aren’t easy instantly and put up a fuss”source ↗
“Situation: my young elementary school student decided she didn’t want to do her homework this week. Tuesday she lied and said she didn’t have any, Wednesday she said she was too smart already and doesn’t have to do it, Thursday she intentionally left it at school, today she brought it home and is completing it as part of her consequences.”source ↗
“We talked more tonight and I’ve made her an appointment with therapy again. This will be our third attempt. I tell her all the time that I’m not asking her to be on honor roll. I just want her to pass.”source ↗
“I’m struggling with this with my 10 yr old. She seems to struggle with multi step processes.”source ↗
“My kids like being in class with their teacher and friends, and do not like me correcting their spelling or their math.”source ↗
“My kids NEED another person to teach them, everything from which way an E goes to how to ride a bike. They are stubborn mules who refuse to learn from me and are INSPIRED by other teachers.”source ↗
“She is wonderful for her teachers, but for me? It's Fight Night.”source ↗
“My 8 year old daughter will be 9 at the end of the year but she seems to need a LOT of reminders to do her homework and other things.”source ↗
“Students can refuse all they want, they'll just get a zero.”source ↗
“the massive shift I’m seeing this year is kids who are genuinely REFUSING to do their work.”source ↗
“They can refuse to do work, but I always document it by immediately entering a zero in the online gradebook”source ↗
“the kid can choose not to do the work, but as I remind them “you’re choosing the zero””source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 7Why does my kindergartener hate reading and shut down?
- 18What to do when your 7-year-old defies teachers and disrupts class
- 11How to motivate a child who doesn't care about punishments
- 12Preschooler refusing to follow rules and leaving the classroom
- 23How to handle a toddler fighting diaper changes and teeth brushing
- 9How to help a kid who hates middle school