Said It Here

Why do parents make excuses for their kids' bad behavior?

Some parents refuse to enforce basic rules, discipline their children, or set boundaries because they want to be their child's friend instead of a parent. When teachers call home about student behavior, these parents respond with endless excuses, blame the child or external factors like tablets, or ignore emails entirely. This lack of accountability at home leaves teachers dealing with children who cannot take responsibility for their own actions.

Overview
People affected8 accounts across 2 forums
Workarounds found8 items attempted
Community agreement2,295 total upvotes
Editorial ConsensusSynthesized across r/Parenting, r/Teachers
Verification standards →

Core Friction Pattern

Analysis of 8 peer accounts across online developer and community forums reveals that “Why do parents make excuses for their kids' bad behavior?” repeatedly surfaces due to edge-case mismatches between standard defaults and real-world environments. Standard troubleshooting frequently falls short, compelling practitioners to develop custom workarounds.

Top Peer-Reported Fix
giving parents extremely specific, step-by-step instructions like you would a child

+7 alternative community-tested workarounds cataloged below.

Editorial Commitment: Every workaround and quote here is curated from verified public discussions without affiliate commissions or paid placements. Always review system configurations before applying community-tested solutions.

What the numbers show

Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count

  • This comes up 12.2× more often in r/Teachers than across the site as a whole.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

Found another way around this?

Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.

  1. 1
    giving parents extremely specific, step-by-step instructions like you would a child
    Did this help you?
  2. 2
    triggering meetings with school administration
    Did this help you?
  3. 3
    explaining the long-term dangers and consequences to the parent
    Did this help you?
  4. 4
    Approaching each situation neutrally and trying to gather context
    Did this help you?
  5. 5
    Taking time to figure out the truth independently and correcting the behavior if needed
    Did this help you?
  6. 6
    Forwarding the email to the principal
    Did this help you?
  7. 7
    Writing up the student enough to result in out-of-school suspension (OSS)
    Did this help you?
  8. 8
    Continuing to document and penalize infractions despite parental pushback
    Did this help you?
Tried another approach not listed above?+ Share your workaround ↑

In their words

Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.

r/Teachers5 people · November 2026

“Mom is blaming the student. Who is 5. She even went as far as to call him spoiled. She also blamed the tablet. The kid just plays on it til it dies. Do you take the tablet away? Oh, no, she's not a mean mom, she's a nice mom.”source ↗

CaptainEmmy · r/Teachers · 1,689 upvotes

“Parent told me that it’s my job to deal with their child’s behaviour and to leave them out of it”source ↗

“In email told me to not call about any behaviours and discipline as I see fit instead of dumping their child’s behaviour on them.”source ↗

No_Promise9180 · r/Teachers · 317 upvotes

“In my first year of teaching, I had a mom whose kid would leave the house every night and stay out until 2-3 in the morning. And he was 12. She “didn’t know what to do.””source ↗

TomeThugNHarmony4664 · r/Teachers · 146 upvotes

“I had a parent ring after school asking me to speak to her son because he was misbehaving at home.”source ↗

Clean_Stranger9793 · r/Teachers · 134 upvotes

“I have had been wondering if I need to go super specific, but then I kept thinking "surely not, right?" But this is very good advice.”source ↗

CaptainEmmy · r/Teachers · 86 upvotes

“We had a parent at tell us that she doesn't call us during the summer, so why are we calling her now.”source ↗

garnetwaters · r/Teachers · 15 upvotes
r/Parenting3 people · November 2026

“So many of my co-worker teachers told me they’d email a parent about a students behavior and they either get no response or the parent makes excuses that their kid is just tired because sports practice ran late or that they have older siblings and pick up on stuff from them.”source ↗

jmsst1996 · r/Parenting · 2 upvotes

“They might admit that their child did something they shouldn't, but they have excuses for why they did it, and who else also did it, or told them to do it, or did it even worse than their kid did it, yada, yada, yada.”source ↗

Grilled_Cheese10 · r/Parenting · 2 upvotes

“You should see what we teachers have to deal with when we call home about behaviour... most parents are great but some.... I can see where the child's inability to take responsibility for their own actions comes from.”source ↗

superdooperthr0away · r/Parenting · 2 upvotes

Where this came up

People with this problem also raised