Why do parents make excuses for their kids' bad behavior?
Some parents refuse to enforce basic rules, discipline their children, or set boundaries because they want to be their child's friend instead of a parent. When teachers call home about student behavior, these parents respond with endless excuses, blame the child or external factors like tablets, or ignore emails entirely. This lack of accountability at home leaves teachers dealing with children who cannot take responsibility for their own actions.
Core Friction Pattern
Analysis of 8 peer accounts across online developer and community forums reveals that “Why do parents make excuses for their kids' bad behavior?” repeatedly surfaces due to edge-case mismatches between standard defaults and real-world environments. Standard troubleshooting frequently falls short, compelling practitioners to develop custom workarounds.
+7 alternative community-tested workarounds cataloged below.
What the numbers show
Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count
- This comes up 12.2× more often in r/Teachers than across the site as a whole.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
Why do parents make excuses for their kids' bad behavior?
- 1giving parents extremely specific, step-by-step instructions like you would a childDid this help you?
- 2triggering meetings with school administrationDid this help you?
- 3explaining the long-term dangers and consequences to the parentDid this help you?
- 4Approaching each situation neutrally and trying to gather contextDid this help you?
- 5Taking time to figure out the truth independently and correcting the behavior if neededDid this help you?
- 6Forwarding the email to the principalDid this help you?
- 7Writing up the student enough to result in out-of-school suspension (OSS)Did this help you?
- 8Continuing to document and penalize infractions despite parental pushbackDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Mom is blaming the student. Who is 5. She even went as far as to call him spoiled. She also blamed the tablet. The kid just plays on it til it dies. Do you take the tablet away? Oh, no, she's not a mean mom, she's a nice mom.”source ↗
“Parent told me that it’s my job to deal with their child’s behaviour and to leave them out of it”source ↗
“In email told me to not call about any behaviours and discipline as I see fit instead of dumping their child’s behaviour on them.”source ↗
“In my first year of teaching, I had a mom whose kid would leave the house every night and stay out until 2-3 in the morning. And he was 12. She “didn’t know what to do.””source ↗
“I had a parent ring after school asking me to speak to her son because he was misbehaving at home.”source ↗
“I have had been wondering if I need to go super specific, but then I kept thinking "surely not, right?" But this is very good advice.”source ↗
“We had a parent at tell us that she doesn't call us during the summer, so why are we calling her now.”source ↗
“So many of my co-worker teachers told me they’d email a parent about a students behavior and they either get no response or the parent makes excuses that their kid is just tired because sports practice ran late or that they have older siblings and pick up on stuff from them.”source ↗
“They might admit that their child did something they shouldn't, but they have excuses for why they did it, and who else also did it, or told them to do it, or did it even worse than their kid did it, yada, yada, yada.”source ↗
“You should see what we teachers have to deal with when we call home about behaviour... most parents are great but some.... I can see where the child's inability to take responsibility for their own actions comes from.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 26How to handle a mother demanding wedding changes without a massive argument
- 7Why do parents get mad about minor rules but ignore failing grades?
- 12Why do parents keep asking for my personal phone number?
- 16Why teachers can't push back against unreasonable parents and admin
- 23How to deal with judgmental parents who criticize everything
- 3How to travel with aging parents who won't let you lead