How to respond to unsolicited parenting advice
Friends and family often pressure parents to change their routines and make their baby adapt to sleeping away from home. Dealing with these arrogant, unsolicited comments leaves parents feeling criticized and unsure of how to reply when they just want support and shared experiences instead of judgment.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
How to respond to unsolicited parenting advice
- 1Staying at home to protect the baby's sleep scheduleDid this help you?
- 2Limiting hangouts with friends who don't understandDid this help you?
- 3ignoring the adviceDid this help you?
- 4calling out the person giving unsolicited adviceDid this help you?
- 5venting about judgmental parents onlineDid this help you?
- 6ignoring unsolicited advice from family membersDid this help you?
- 7giving babies a couple of minutes to see if they can calm down on their own before interveningDid this help you?
- 8trusting one's own gut instinct and parenting differently than previous generationsDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I have a 4 month old and my grandma always makes comments like “he know what he wants” and alludes to me spoiling him when I hold and comfort him.”source ↗
“I’m often told he should learn to adapt, but my rationale is that well he only sleeps this much during the day for a short period of his life.”source ↗
“I don’t mind not doing much (except more baby specific activities) or doing things close to home, but I don’t like hearing these comments and don’t know how to respond.”source ↗
“If you want to be helpful to someone whose actually asking for your advice, that’s fine. But you’re spewing unsolicited advice from an arrogant know-it-all standpoint and it isn’t gong to be received well by anyone.”source ↗
“I would love if we could communicate more, talk to each other, share experiences, problems, fears and ideas, WITHOUT thinking we found the only way WITHOUT trying to convince the other they are doing it wrong and we are the only ones right.”source ↗
“Personally I prefer NO advice unless I ask. We are all just winging it.”source ↗
“Yes, they thought that cuddling your infant too much would “spoil” your baby. How the hell do you spoil a baby? That shit boils my blood.”source ↗
“Saying a 6 month old is just “manipulating” you by crying, or that you have to punish kids for having emotions…like wtf???”source ↗
Where this came up
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