How to deal with manipulative and controlling parents
Constant criticism of personal decisions and boundary violations leave young adults feeling stuck and unable to trust their own judgment. This leaves people feeling like children trapped in adult bodies, unable to enjoy their lives or maintain privacy in their relationships.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Trying to address the behavior maturely through conversation
- 2Venting to friends and boyfriend
- 3Attempting to buy a separate phone independently
- 4Forwarding the inappropriate email to the principal
- 5Ignoring the parent completely and refusing to respond
- 6Documenting the incident with administration
- 7Setting up strict out-of-office auto-replies directing urgent issues to admin
- 8Meeting with an emergency couples counselor
- 9Setting gentle boundaries that get manipulated or ignored
- 10Backing down and accommodating extra uninvited guests
- 11Talking back in the voice of the baby to counter the claim
- 12Directly telling the family member to state their opinion outright without theatrics
- 13Responding to the person as if they are talking for themselves and addressing them directly
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“When I open my email account, there was an email again with the words "Medical Emergency" typed into the header.”source ↗
“Well the email starts out with " Now that I have your attention" and goes on a long rant how her daughter doesn't deserve the "B" she got in English.”source ↗
“Anyone else can’t stand when others constantly talk to you “as” the baby?”source ↗
“This happens all the time and I feel like people use it as a way to input their opinion without being direct.”source ↗
“I am at the point now where I am having serious doubts about going through with the wedding.”source ↗
“During each of their visits, I have at least one sobbing panic attack because I am so overstimulated and overwhelmed by their presence.”source ↗
“I desperately need advice on what to say and how to handle this situation - with my fiancé, with his family, and with the wedding.”source ↗
“I feel as if every decision I make to have fun and enjoy my final year at home becomes completely criticized and controlled .”source ↗
“It feels like my parents know more about my own relationships with people than I do and it just seems unfair and like an invasion of my privacy .”source ↗
“I feel like a child in an adult's body and I don't know what to do about it anymore.”source ↗
“It annoys me too bc if you want to say it, just say it. Don't hide behind the baby”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
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- 3Why does my toddler only want me when I'm around?