How to deal with emotionally cold and unsupportive parents
Growing up with cold, withholding parents who never offer praise or recognition leaves adults feeling damaged and struggling with distress despite achieving success. The persistent lack of validation makes navigating familial obligations feel like an unwanted burden that continually triggers deep-seated emotional pain.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1ignoring the student's future social and behavioral needs
- 2leaving it up to future employers to handle vocal quirks
- 3providing informal coaching out of personal care despite a lack of support
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“You are amazing parents. My parents have always been cold and withholding no matter how successful I was and it has really really screwed me up. All I ever wanted was some praise and a “I see you” type gift.”source ↗
“This year I got a student who is autistic but the family has refused testing over the years., so he is undiagnosed / no IEP despite yearly attempts, so that leads to today.”source ↗
“It just seems that I am morally obligated to help, but seems like a hot potato better left alone.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
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- 4Why don't friends care about my wedding as much as I cared about theirs?