Delaying a child's first phone
Waiting to buy a phone to prevent cyberbullying and dopamine addiction often causes social isolation, as the child misses group hangouts because peers coordinate plans over text. However, even if parents successfully hold off until age fifteen, teenagers can still end up addicted to texting once they finally get a device.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Providing a smartwatch or cellular watch that can call and text without internet accessDid this help you?
- 2Getting a flip phone or 'dumb' phone instead of a smartphoneDid this help you?
- 3Typing up a signed contract with strict usage caveats and honor codesDid this help you?
- 4Using parental controls to restrict apps and enforce automatic downtime at nightDid this help you?
- 5Enforcing a strict ban on creating social media accountsDid this help you?
- 6Banning all social media apps completely until an older age (e.g., 16).Did this help you?
- 7Blocking app installations and URLs using built-in parental controls.Did this help you?
- 8Making a rule that the phone stays downstairs on a charger overnight.Did this help you?
- 9Keeping the phone in a basket after school and only allowing use after homework and before dinner.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“For a while we tried to make it work but eventually the social isolation really started to get to her. Her friends weren't being malicious but plans just naturally shifted to being discussed over texts and she would miss out on group hang outs (not always, sometimes her friends would call me to talk to her which was very sweet) a lot.”source ↗
“I'm in the same camp as you and don't approve. I will hold off as long as possible but eventually it will happen.”source ↗
“i was highly against it. i wanted to wait until at least 10. but her father thought it’d be a good idea bc we weren’t together at the time and she lived with me. so i finally agreed.”source ↗
“I have a similarly driven teenager who did not get a phone until age 15. It has not gone as well - my teen is totally addicted to texting, which of course is the thing the phone is actually best used for.”source ↗
“Je bloque installation d app et le lien URL ? Ce sera suffisante ou il pourra y accéder en passant par le pronote par example ?”source ↗
“Est-ce que je vais pouvoir contrôler ce qui est écrit sur snapchat ? Je ne connais pas du tout cette app. Quels sont les dérivés possibles ? L’année dernière dans notre collège il y’a eu une histoire très grave de harcèlement”source ↗
“Oui, voilà , c’est cela qui me chagrine”source ↗
“Dans 3 semaines mon fils recevra son premier portable pour son cadeau d’anniversaire... Quel autres règles strictes mettre en place pour éviter la hyperconnections et shoots de dopamine ?”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 5Phone options for kids home alone without a smartphone
- 2Ex monitoring child location during my custody time
- 3What age is appropriate to start letting kids play video games?
- 4What age can my child go to the park alone?
- 6When can kids shower by themselves?
- 7How to stop students from scrolling phones during class