How to choose where to move to raise a family
Deciding on a new city requires balancing major lifestyle factors like climate and walkability with the challenge of finding a community where you can put down roots. Moving across the country with a baby and limited connections makes it difficult to know if you will find friends or if the new location will truly feel like home.
What the numbers show
Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count
- The most recent one is from October 2026.
- This comes up 160.7× more often in r/moving than across the site as a whole.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Visiting prospective areas for a week before decidingDid this help you?
- 2Renting for a year before making a permanent moveDid this help you?
- 3Researching average rent costs, local taxes, and school ratings onlineDid this help you?
- 4Narrowing down options based on online research and neighborhood recommendationsDid this help you?
- 5Visiting prospective cities to test out the weather and walkability firsthandDid this help you?
- 6Staying in the city while struggling with high costs and poor local schoolsDid this help you?
- 7Moving to a rural area now while kids are young and potentially moving back to an urban area later when they reach their teensDid this help you?
- 8Living in a small town and traveling frequently to larger cities for entertainment and worldly exposureDid this help you?
- 9Having family members fly or drive out to visit and help periodicallyDid this help you?
- 10Flying back home for holidays and birthday partiesDid this help you?
- 11Asking online forums for destination recommendations based on household income and lifestyle goalsDid this help you?
- 12Moving to states known for higher teacher pay such as New Jersey, Massachusetts, New York, and California.Did this help you?
- 13Asking for recommendations on online forumsDid this help you?
- 14Searching independently for regions that match specific criteriaDid this help you?
- 15Looking into job options and affordabilityDid this help you?
- 16Considering living outside of the city with roommatesDid this help you?
- 17working remotelyDid this help you?
- 18switching careersDid this help you?
- 19Staying in a lower-cost city with good outdoor accessDid this help you?
- 20Working in a skilled trade to afford higher-cost areasDid this help you?
- 21Asking for suggestions on RedditDid this help you?
- 22Booking a flight to explore the different areas in personDid this help you?
- 23Testing out the new state with a short-term lease firstDid this help you?
- 24Asking locals on internet forums for pros and cons of specific areasDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I have to leave my hometown of Austin Texas because it is too hot and car-centric for me to have a happy life”source ↗
“I've narrowed it down to Chicago or Pittsburgh.”source ↗
“My most pressing question is, which one do you guys think would I be more likely to find friends and community?”source ↗
“Would CA be the right place for our young family to finally put down roots?”source ↗
“Moving across the country with a baby and limited connections would be a huge leap of faith.”source ↗
“Considering relocating in a couple years but no idea where to go.”source ↗
“My question is: What do people do for work nowadays in these towns?”source ↗
“I moved to Salt Lake City about 2 years ago and honestly I feel the same day over and over being here.”source ↗
“Any suggestions on where I should go next? I don’t have the most money but have strong work ethic and want to be close to a city.”source ↗
“I’m looking to move someone long term out of state for better job opportunities, good community, kid friendly activities childcare and the best medical care. I currently live in kansas so there’s not a whole lot here for what im looking for.”source ↗
“So I’m wondering if your household income was between 12-15k a month where in the country or in California would you move to live better than just ok?”source ↗
“Hi, just trying to figure out where I want to move in a couple years once economy/job market are hopefully back to normal.”source ↗
“I'm not sure which city would be better for me, Boston seems appealing with the high density and good transit, but that doesnt mean much if I cant afford it.”source ↗
“My husband and baby girl and I are planning on relocating out of Colorado and I’d like to see if anyone has good recommendations on towns within the U.S. that aren’t any further than 2 or 3 hours via flight.”source ↗
“I’ve lived in Pennsylvania my whole life, so moving out west feels like a big change! Some advice or insight would mean a lot.”source ↗
“On one hand it feels wild to sacrifice all the amenities we have in California, but on the other it feels selfish to be so far from family that loves to help and be present.”source ↗
“We are getting priced out of the major city we live in. We are ok now, but it’s getting very difficult to sustain.”source ↗
“neighborhood safety isn’t great and schools in the areas of town we can afford to live in aren’t good either.”source ↗
“We also don’t have any family nearby and most of our friends have moved away over the years. We can only afford an apartment here… maybe a small duplex if we were very lucky to find one.”source ↗
“With our firstborn, not being around family was so isolating and sad.”source ↗
“We moved for financial reasons cause we couldn't afford California anymore and it has been very hard, granted we bought a home, something we could never do there.”source ↗
“Does anybody live in an area of the country that pays well, where the kids are relatively well-behaved?”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 23Is moving to a high-cost area for a higher salary worth it?
- 3How to choose between a big career move and your relationship?
- 3Is moving back in with parents worth the financial savings?
- 7Where should I keep my house down payment?
- 2Affordable cities with seasons for former Texans
- 2Should I take my pet with me after a breakup?