How to keep the house and split equity in a divorce
Dividing a shared home and mortgage during a divorce requires deciding whether to refinance the loan in one spouse's name or sell the property to split the equity. Trying to hold onto a low-rate mortgage or defer the sale for children can clash with a judge's rulings and complicate the financial settlement.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Selling the house immediately, splitting the proceeds, and downsizing or renting
- 2Trading a majority share of retirement accounts to buy out the spouse's equity
- 3Taking out a new mortgage, loan, or HELOC to finance the buyout and remove the spouse from the deed
- 4trading a portion of retirement accounts to offset home equity
- 5splitting finances amicably without lawyers
- 6asking family members for assistance to keep family land
- 7Running the business conservatively with normal salaries
- 8Assembling financial records and business valuations independently
- 9Consulting multiple specialized business-divorce attorneys early
- 10Selling a pre-marital rental property to pay off credit card debt and fund a new home
- 11Waiting to make significant decisions until consulting with a divorce lawyer
- 12Attending marriage counseling during a trial separation
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I'm not sure that we are going to divorce, but it looks like it may be coming and I'd like to be prepared. Should it come to it, is it reasonable to offer to take over the mortgage? Is my math mathing correctly, wouldn't this effectively be the same as buying her out given the debt to value?”source ↗
“So I am in a tough position that I am looking to try to figure out.”source ↗
“I also have about $30,000.00 in debt, most being credit cards. I know, not good and I have made some bad choices to get myself in that position. Not really much in savings to be able to get a house and move out.”source ↗
“I am just wondering what my best move here is.”source ↗
“I am staying in my house (if I can refinance in my name and assume the loan at my current interest rate). We owe 400k on the house and it’s worth 1M. What is the best option for me”source ↗
“Owner here, went through it with a company on the line. Most divorce advice is written for employees: split the 401k, divide the house. Nobody tells the man whose net worth lives in an S corp what happens next, so owners learn at $400 an hour, one mistake at a time.”source ↗
“I went through a dissolution last year and wanted to keep the house through our youngest kid’s final two years of school. The judge didn’t like our plan to keep our current loan then split the equity after selling.”source ↗
“We are currently in therapy with each other. But I dont get the feeling it will work. We are early on. But in case it doesn't work out I want to try to get in a better position as soon as I can.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 2How to protect my business from a spouse in a divorce
- 2How to split wedding costs when one partner makes more
- 4How to handle a house and mortgage before getting married
- 5How to fix laminate floor damage before moving out without losing deposit
- 2Why does half my house lose power without tripping the breakers?
- 4How to agree with your spouse on buying a house