Why does my dog cry when left with friends?
Dogs left with familiar friends or sitters can experience immediate distress, often whining, howling, and barking until the owner returns. This anxiety can also cause significant behavioral changes over time, leading the dog to have indoor accidents, stop eating, and cling constantly to the friend.
What the numbers show
Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count
- The most recent one is from November 2026.
- This comes up 39.4× more often in r/dogs than across the site as a whole.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
Why does my dog cry when left with friends?
- 1Waiting it out expecting a normal adjustment periodDid this help you?
- 2Checking with a vet to rule out anything medicalDid this help you?
- 3Giving the puppy a very high-value treat right before leaving and completely ignoring them.Did this help you?
- 4Starting by leaving for only a fraction of a second and gradually increasing the duration.Did this help you?
- 5Ignoring the puppy upon returning and waiting until they calm down before greeting them.Did this help you?
- 6Using prescription medications like trazodone, clonidine, or fluoxetine.Did this help you?
- 7Hiring specialized veterinary behaviorists or trainers.Did this help you?
- 8Staggering schedules or using doggy daycare so the dog is never left alone.Did this help you?
- 9Using desensitization training by practicing short, boring departures.Did this help you?
- 10Setting up indoor cameras with two-way audio to monitor and soothe the dog.Did this help you?
- 11Crate training with blankets draped over the crate to create a safe space.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My dog has separation anxiety and it's honestly been pretty hard to deal with. I love him, but I feel like I can't go anywhere without him getting anxious.”source ↗
“We had a dog with severe separation anxiety (ie, my wife and i could not leave the house at the same time for 3+ months).”source ↗
“My dog started to lose it when we left him alone later in life. He lived to about 18, but the last 4 years were kind of hell with the anxiety.”source ↗
“I've tried dealing with it by myself for over 2 years. Yesterday I had my first behaviourist appointment and I finally feel some hope.”source ↗
“We tried to never leave her completely alone if we could help it while we were training. So lots of daycare drop offs and taking turns running errands.”source ↗
“Our Aussie had pretty bad separation anxiety. Like not even 30 seconds of being alone he would howl and bark.”source ↗
“However, if we’re out with friends and I leave her with someone she knows, she completely loses it. She starts whining, crying, and sometimes barking. She usually won’t settle until she can see me again or I pick her up.”source ↗
“However, since we left, she’s been showing some pretty significant changes in behavior. She’s started having accidents indoors, barely ate for the first couple of days, and now feels the need to be in the same room as my friend at all times.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 10Groomer won't let me stay with my anxious dog
- 8Why does my puppy panic in the crate when left alone?
- 43How do I deal with severe separation anxiety in a newly adopted dog?
- 25How to move abroad or travel without leaving your pets behind
- 30How long can you safely leave a dog alone at home?
- 36How to handle a young puppy alone during sudden schedule changes