Why am I so scared to leave my hometown?
Leaving a lifelong hometown triggers intense fear and anxiety that often causes plans to fall apart right before a move or trip. This physical and emotional overwhelm stops people from experiencing new places or pursuing changes they genuinely want to make.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1thinking it through and being intentional about the new locationDid this help you?
- 2taking a few trips to see how you like the potential new areaDid this help you?
- 3Starting with smaller domestic trips or nearby destinations as a trialDid this help you?
- 4Choosing less populated or more familiar regions to reduce culture shockDid this help you?
- 5Consulting with a medical professional or therapist for anxiety treatmentDid this help you?
- 6Relying on family's ability to fly out a couple times a year and stay for a whileDid this help you?
- 7Reminding oneself that the move is a dream, adventure, and smart financial decisionDid this help you?
- 8Reassuring oneself that moving back is an option if the distance is too difficultDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“as much as I want to move, there is a level of anxiety about moving for me.”source ↗
“I’m just a little anxious because other than a few years in college, I’ve always lived in my hometown town…”source ↗
“anxiety through the roof about leaving TN for the PNW”source ↗
“My biggest worry is about moving away from my family.”source ↗
“I think knowing so far in advance that we are leaving is giving my mind too much time to wander.”source ↗
“Leaving my hometown is something that has many reasons. My wife and I don’t truly feel connected here.”source ↗
“I get the idea to go somewhere, research different places, create a map, calculate my budget, and then… I get scared of actually doing it, and the whole thing falls apart.”source ↗
“I’m afraid that during those 2–3 weeks away, my partner will somehow forget about me or stop loving me.”source ↗
“I’ll end up in a foreign country feeling nothing but anxiety and won’t be able to enjoy the trip at all.”source ↗
“I also have a very sensitive nervous system and tend to get overwhelmed by too many impressions and experiences very quickly.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 2What obvious things am I missing before my first international trip?
- 3Why does moving away for work feel so lonely?
- 5Is it normal to feel guilty about leaving your wedding early?
- 3How to deal with guilt when quitting a great team
- 4How to deal with separation anxiety going back to work
- 2How to move out of state by the next business day