Why does moving away for work feel so lonely?
Relocating away from family and friends traps people in an exhausting routine of working, sleeping, and spending all evenings and weekends alone. Without a local social circle or a partner nearby, daily life gets reduced to an endless cycle that prevents them from feeling connected to their new home.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Taking sick days to travel and visit loved onesDid this help you?
- 2Trying to make friends in the lunchroom or staff roomDid this help you?
- 3Making frequent weekend trips home to see family and partnersDid this help you?
- 4Attending church potlucks or staff happy hoursDid this help you?
- 5Seeking therapy, medication, or medical treatments for depressionDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I have a good job (high school French teacher in PA), good classes for the most part, I like the school where I work, but I feel so lonely.”source ↗
“I live two hours away from my family and boyfriend, and currently have no friends where I live.”source ↗
“I go to work, sleep, do more work, go back to sleep, wake up and they whole cycle starts over again.”source ↗
“My wife was really struggling with the move and wasn't able to find a job here”source ↗
“I spend most of my evenings and weekends alone”source ↗
“I spend more time in my classroom than I do in my own home.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 5How to deal with loneliness during solo travel
- 13Feeling lonely planning a wedding without a big friend group
- 3Why am I so scared to leave my hometown?
- 6Why do I feel completely disconnected from my child?
- 15How to connect with peers who actually understand tech work stress
- 2I regret moving my family, can we go back?