Why do I feel so guilty about puppy accidents?
Owners often blame themselves completely when a puppy has a bowel movement in its crate overnight, believing a better person would have prevented it. This intense guilt quickly spirals into deep regret and depression, especially when the new puppy misbehaves or compares poorly to a previous dog. Ultimately, this overwhelming stress stops people from actually liking or bonding with their new pet.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Waking the puppy up to take them out even when they are sleeping soundly
- 2Planning to take the puppy back out if they don't settle immediately
- 3Setting specific training goals like scent training to turn engagement into a fun side project and hobby.
- 4Using impulse control games from YouTube like 'it's your choice' to work on behavior daily.
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I feel like such a terrible owner.”source ↗
“Well, I woke up for her middle of the night potty break today to see she had a bowel movement all in her crate. I feel so guilty. It’s my fault that that happened.”source ↗
“The guilt is eating me alive because if I was a better owner she wouldn’t have had any accidents.”source ↗
“I feel so depressed and at times when she just won't leave my daughter alone (jumping, biting) I just don't really like her.”source ↗
“I wanted a hole filled, but instead I find myself missing my previous dog more and feeling so sad.”source ↗
“How do you work through the regret? I know it gets easier, but I am struggling.”source ↗
“What I did not account for was the fact that even though they are the same breed, he behaves much worse than how she did as a puppy, so I have also wondered myself If I made the right choice”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 19Feeling guilty about getting a new pet too soon
- 2Why do I feel so guilty taking my pet to the vet?
- 15Why does my puppy keep peeing on the sofa and bed?
- 10Why do I feel guilty on slow work days?
- 3Why are there never enough puppy pictures?
- 5Why does my dog carry water in their mouth and spill it everywhere?