Are my cats playing or fighting?
Slow, tense interactions between cats are often difficult to interpret as either harmless play or real aggression. This uncertainty leaves owners unsure whether their pets are enjoying themselves or genuinely upset with one another.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Observing body language cues like ear position and fur flyingDid this help you?
- 2Waiting to see if blood is drawn or tufts of hair are pulled outDid this help you?
- 3Stepping in and getting close to make the instigating cat stop temporarilyDid this help you?
- 4Waiting for the cats to work out their dynamic naturallyDid this help you?
- 5Looking for flying fur to determine if it is a real fightDid this help you?
- 6Watching ears and tails for body language cues like relaxed postures or forward-facing earsDid this help you?
- 7Checking for puffed tails, flattened ears, hair flying, and yowling soundsDid this help you?
- 8Observing whether the cat is exposing its belly and staying in place versus trying to escapeDid this help you?
- 9Watching free interactions very closelyDid this help you?
- 10Making sure there are two litters and feeding them togetherDid this help you?
- 11Buying heavy-duty dog toys instead of cat toysDid this help you?
- 12Plugging in Feliway Friends diffusersDid this help you?
- 13Intervening and separating the cats when a sound of pain is madeDid this help you?
- 14watching for whether the kitten keeps following the older cat aroundDid this help you?
- 15checking for turns in play where both cats take turns winning and losingDid this help you?
- 16showing videos of the play to a vet for their takeDid this help you?
- 17Observing the intensity to see if it is just a game or if they end up loving each otherDid this help you?
- 18keeping them in different spaces separated by a netDid this help you?
- 19supervised meetingsDid this help you?
- 20separating them after rough interactionsDid this help you?
- 21Observing the behavior and asking online communities for tips or identification.Did this help you?
- 22Breaking up the catsDid this help you?
- 23Checking for noise, hissing, growling, or fur flyingDid this help you?
- 24Waiting to see if it sounds like ArmageddonDid this help you?
- 25looking up information onlineDid this help you?
- 26asking for opinions on internet forumsDid this help you?
- 27Separating the cats when hearing loud noises or screamingDid this help you?
- 28Watching body language (such as whether bellies are exposed or paws are reaching out)Did this help you?
- 29Using a Feliway multicat diffuser to soothe the catsDid this help you?
- 30Waiting for the cats to figure things out themselvesDid this help you?
- 31Picking up one of the cats to intervene or separate them.Did this help you?
- 32looking for signs like fur flying or hissingDid this help you?
- 33letting them hash it out when they take the hintDid this help you?
- 34separating them when growling and hissing startsDid this help you?
- 35Asking online communities or cat experts for opinionsDid this help you?
- 36Looking for specific aggressive cues like pinned-back ears, ripped fur, and hissingDid this help you?
- 37Watching to see if the cats take voluntary breaks during the wrestlingDid this help you?
- 38Learning about concepts like misplaced aggression to contextualize sudden changes in behaviorDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I don’t think this is a REAL full blown cat fight, but is it a weird slow-mo version of it? Are they enjoying this or pissed at each other?”source ↗
“Would you consider this weird slow fight more of playing or more fighting? I’m not necessarily worried for either, more just curious.”source ↗
“I have a new kitten and introducing to the ol' resident but I cant tell how she feels about it.”source ↗
“They certainly arent besties but i cant read if shes enjoying interactions like this at all or not.”source ↗
“First time cat owner here. At the very beginning, my (bigger) cat hisses at the kitten. Gradually she started to sniff and allow being sniffed by the kitten. Now this. I don’t feel like they are fighting. I want to see what everyone thinks. Thanks in advance.”source ↗
“Kitten (orange) is the one hissing and growling. No sounds from resident cat”source ↗
“I had to separate them after the video. Should I have let them go at it? Was it wrong for me to interrupt?”source ↗
“I still don’t feel that I can let them roam freely 100% in the apartment unsupervised. What should I do?”source ↗
“Side note, I usually break this up. What do you think? Thanks!”source ↗
“I sometimes hear the kitten cry-meow a few times, once in a while many times. Does my cat (a 1-year-old Maine Coin) know the kitten is …a baby (3-4 months) and might get hurt?”source ↗
“I can’t always tell if they’re being brothers and rough housing or if he’s really not okay.”source ↗
“Like they wrestle like this all the time, no hissing, no yowling, just rolling around but they look so angry when doing it!! Are they having fun??”source ↗
“I know these two aren’t full blown fighting but is this more of a brotherly annoyance or playing ?”source ↗
“he’s so vocal it’s hard to not worry that he hates his life lol”source ↗
“Lighter one (boy) is always the one to instigate fights, so darker one (girl) has to respond.”source ↗
“I can't tell if this is play or a fight.”source ↗
“If anyone can tell me if this play / fighting and or give me some tips I would really appreciate it!!”source ↗
“Hi, I’m hoping someone can help me figure this out because I honestly don’t know what to make of it anymore.”source ↗
“So I’m wondering, does this look like normal rough play, or is Link being too rough for Zelda?”source ↗
“I’m just looking for behavior and body language advice.”source ↗
“I’m really. It sure what to do or if this is normal.”source ↗
“Same for my two cats, my boy cat likes to jump my girl cat and my girl cat is usually uninterested and tries to run away”source ↗
“Can be hard to tell! Definitely playing. The kitten is showing their belly and staying in place. If they wanted out, they would be gone. They might just be a little startled and quicker to hiss and growl.”source ↗
“Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two, sometimes it's a game, sometimes they fight”source ↗
“Should I have let them go at it, or was it wise to intervene here?”source ↗
“Sometimes the kitten does attack/pounce, but he is so small in comparison, he can never be the winner. And looking back at the videos I see that yes, he ends up being pinned like that often!”source ↗
“What about the screaming/yelling I hear sometimes?”source ↗
“I’m not sure where play stops and violence begins. I just seperated them after hearing screaming in the other room”source ↗
“I just introduced my three month old and four mont old cats. They were sniffing each other and then they started running around the house and chasing each other and they weren’t meowiing like cats usually do when they are fighting but they were biting each other and sometimes they would like hiss at eachother.”source ↗
“I had always wondered before that how would I be able to tell if my cats play turned bad.”source ↗
“one time he got really scared by another cat outside of our front door and attacked me. It was hands down one of the most terrifying things I’ve experienced.”source ↗
“They sometimes do scream at least one of them. I just separated them after I heard screaming in the other room?”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 25Why is my cat suddenly attacking my other cat?
- 3Why won't my kitten stop playing too rough with my older cat?
- 2Why does a neighbor's cat meow at my door and hiss?
- 5Does cat squinting mean pain if the vet says they're healthy?
- 31Is my cat coughing or having an asthma attack?
- 18Older cat still hissing at new kitten after months