Are my cats playing or fighting?
Slow, tense interactions between cats are often difficult to interpret as either harmless play or real aggression. This uncertainty leaves owners unsure whether their pets are enjoying themselves or genuinely upset with one another.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Observing body language cues like ear position and fur flying
- 2Waiting to see if blood is drawn or tufts of hair are pulled out
- 3Stepping in and getting close to make the instigating cat stop temporarily
- 4Waiting for the cats to work out their dynamic naturally
- 5Looking for flying fur to determine if it is a real fight
- 6Watching ears and tails for body language cues like relaxed postures or forward-facing ears
- 7Checking for puffed tails, flattened ears, hair flying, and yowling sounds
- 8Observing whether the cat is exposing its belly and staying in place versus trying to escape
- 9Watching free interactions very closely
- 10Making sure there are two litters and feeding them together
- 11Buying heavy-duty dog toys instead of cat toys
- 12Plugging in Feliway Friends diffusers
- 13Intervening and separating the cats when a sound of pain is made
- 14watching for whether the kitten keeps following the older cat around
- 15checking for turns in play where both cats take turns winning and losing
- 16showing videos of the play to a vet for their take
- 17Observing the intensity to see if it is just a game or if they end up loving each other
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I don’t think this is a REAL full blown cat fight, but is it a weird slow-mo version of it? Are they enjoying this or pissed at each other?”source ↗
“Would you consider this weird slow fight more of playing or more fighting? I’m not necessarily worried for either, more just curious.”source ↗
“Kitten (orange) is the one hissing and growling. No sounds from resident cat”source ↗
“I sometimes hear the kitten cry-meow a few times, once in a while many times. Does my cat (a 1-year-old Maine Coin) know the kitten is …a baby (3-4 months) and might get hurt?”source ↗
“I know these two aren’t full blown fighting but is this more of a brotherly annoyance or playing ?”source ↗
“Lighter one (boy) is always the one to instigate fights, so darker one (girl) has to respond.”source ↗
“Hi, I’m hoping someone can help me figure this out because I honestly don’t know what to make of it anymore.”source ↗
“So I’m wondering, does this look like normal rough play, or is Link being too rough for Zelda?”source ↗
“I’m just looking for behavior and body language advice.”source ↗
“Same for my two cats, my boy cat likes to jump my girl cat and my girl cat is usually uninterested and tries to run away”source ↗
“Can be hard to tell! Definitely playing. The kitten is showing their belly and staying in place. If they wanted out, they would be gone. They might just be a little startled and quicker to hiss and growl.”source ↗
“Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two, sometimes it's a game, sometimes they fight”source ↗
“Should I have let them go at it, or was it wise to intervene here?”source ↗
“Sometimes the kitten does attack/pounce, but he is so small in comparison, he can never be the winner. And looking back at the videos I see that yes, he ends up being pinned like that often!”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 6Why is my cat suddenly attacking my other cat?
- 3Why won't my kitten stop playing too rough with my older cat?
- 9Is my cat coughing or having an asthma attack?
- 5Older cat still hissing at new kitten after months
- 5What videos or shows do cats actually like to watch?
- 26Why is my roommate's cat hissing and following me?