How to handle kids' social media when all their friends have it
Enforcing restrictions causes daily arguments and casts parents as the "bad guy" because peers exclusively use platforms like Snapchat to communicate. This constant friction makes parents second-guess their rules. Some eventually abandon their anti-tech principles and download apps they hate just to keep an eye on what their teenagers are posting.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Banning all social media apps completely until the child is an adultDid this help you?
- 2Using device-level parental controls to automatically lock out screens at a specific time every eveningDid this help you?
- 3Charging devices on a different floor of the house overnightDid this help you?
- 4Tying screen time allowances to the completion of chores, homework, and instrument practiceDid this help you?
- 5Having the child read books like 'The Amazing Generation' or watch documentaries like 'Screenagers' to understand the risksDid this help you?
- 6Asking an AI for objective reasons why social media is harmful and reading them togetherDid this help you?
- 7Logging directly into the child's account on a parent's device to see their direct messages and activity.Did this help you?
- 8Using built-in platform parental controls or teen modes, despite low trust in their effectiveness.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I'm going insane arguing with my daughter daily and trying to enforce rules on what I think is acceptable vs. what "everyone else" is doing.”source ↗
“All her closest friends have the aforementioned apps, especially TikTok and Snapchat, which I find egregious, but which firmly puts me in the "bad guy" position with my daughter—especially as one of her friends recently told her (when asked why she wasn't responding in the group chat) that she "mutes" iMessage in favour of her group chats on Snapchat, et al.”source ↗
“It's frustrating and tiring, and I'm always second guessing myself, so I'm hoping everyone else's experience will either help to validate or to allow me see things in a different light.”source ↗
“I don’t want to download TikTok or use it. However, my teenage kids have it and use it, so I’m thinking of installing it just to see what they’re posting about.”source ↗
“The reason I’m positing is because I’m wondering if anyone else has done this. Sacrificed their anti-tech position just so they can keep an on eye on things. I’m struggling to admit defeat”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 8Are we the only ones limiting video game screen time?
- 4How to raise a child screen-free and algorithm-free
- 14How to stop students from scrolling phones during class
- 2Ex monitoring child location during my custody time
- 5Phone options for kids home alone without a smartphone
- 9How to stop kids from throwing tantrums over phone limits