Should I bring up concerns with a new daycare?
It is hard to know if you are overreacting to unapproved hair styling or harsh discipline jokes, especially when your child is new or cannot talk. This uncertainty makes you hesitate to speak up, and without cameras or the ability to do inside drop-ins, you have no way to verify if mistreatment is actually happening.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Polling friends for perspective before confronting staff
- 2Assuming the staff had a practical safety or cleanliness reason
- 3Sending the child with specific accessories like wide headbands to passively prevent the issue
- 4Dropping by the daycare unannounced to observe the classroom.
- 5Asking the director directly what they meant by their comments.
- 6Pulling the child out of the daycare and finding alternative care.
- 7Evaluating if the behavior is just a normal developmental phase rather than a reaction to trauma.
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“When we picked her up from daycare today someone had tied her hair tight in a bun on top of her head.”source ↗
“Should this be bothering me like it is? Should I raise it with the daycare? She’s only been there 2 weeks.”source ↗
“I recently put my 28 month old speech delayed toddler in day care. she’s normally a happy baby but I recall the day care director saying something in regards to her in passing “ if she doesn’t stop pulling all the toys out she will be in the high chair”.”source ↗
“since that “joke“ my LO has an intense reaction to being strapped in anything. On the car ride home from daycare Friday she unbuckled her self facing backwards of course and I nearly had a heart attack.”source ↗
“I’ve never had a child start who couldn’t tell me if they were being mistreated. maybe I’m over reacting. the daycare has no cameras … should I pop up? how do I see if I’m right about what I’m thinking ?”source ↗
“I will say around that age (maybe a little younger) my daughter hated being buckled in a car seat, high chair, anything. and she got herself unbuckled while I was driving more than once. It is terrifying.”source ↗
“I want to pop up… but odd enough the meet up at the door for drop off and pick up… you hit a buzzed and they bring her to the door or come to the door to get her”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 4Switching from an unlicensed to a licensed daycare
- 9How to handle anxiety about your baby crying at daycare transition
- 2Do you have to tip or give holiday bonuses to daycare workers?
- 2How do you stop worrying about making parenting mistakes?
- 7Why isn't my one-year-old talking yet?
- 2How to set up a daycare playdate when you never see the parents