How to handle anxiety about your baby crying at daycare transition
Babies often cry heavily during their first transition days into daycare, which triggers intense fear and anxiety for parents about their safety and well-being. This distress makes caregivers deeply reluctant to leave them and leaves them questioning whether they should push back start dates or stay with them during the initial adjustment period.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Looking for success stories and reassurance from other parents to calm nervesDid this help you?
- 2asking to accompany the child to daycare for the first few daysDid this help you?
- 3allowing the child extra rest on non-daycare daysDid this help you?
- 4feeding the child a large meal immediately when they get homeDid this help you?
- 5Checking daycare paperwork or website for instructionsDid this help you?
- 6Packing a bag full of everything and letting staff scale it downDid this help you?
- 7Sending a case of diapers and wipes at onceDid this help you?
- 8Putting clothes into labeled individual Ziploc bagsDid this help you?
- 9Dropping by the daycare in person to feed the babyDid this help you?
- 10Calling the facility to clarify feeding instructionsDid this help you?
- 11Sending additional bottlesDid this help you?
- 12Switching from daycare to an in-home nannyDid this help you?
- 13Toughing it out and hoping the child's immune system improves over timeDid this help you?
- 14Looking into alternative or private after-school programsDid this help you?
- 15Hiring an after-school nannyDid this help you?
- 16Prioritizing one-on-one time on Friday evenings and weekendsDid this help you?
- 17Reassuring the child and helping them build independenceDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Day 1, baby refused bottle.”source ↗
“didn’t realize lead teacher only speaks Spanish.”source ↗
“Are these red flags or normal? And I just need to get over that I’m not going to get “perfect care”?”source ↗
“We were expecting sickness but didn't expect it this much.”source ↗
“3-4 months seems so young to be getting sick constantly and it affecting her sleep.”source ↗
“Last week my girl has her first transition week to daycare- and both times I picked her up she was balling crying.”source ↗
“But now it’s made me sooo scared for her to start properly next week…”source ↗
“My oldest is struggling. She says afterschool program is too much for her.”source ↗
“We are having some issues with big behaviors come Fridays, which tells me she’s tired.”source ↗
“I feel so much guilt right now for going back to work.. I am really enjoying work, and I miss my kids and feel like I’m ruining them when they say they miss me too.”source ↗
“I’m just wondering how you send in all the stuff like diapers and clothes?”source ↗
“whenever I think about sending my will be 13 week old to daycare I get so anxious.”source ↗
“The other night during a middle of the night feed I couldn’t stop crying when I realized that she’ll be with other people more than she’ll be with her own parents.”source ↗
“As I was holding her today I couldn’t believe that someone else will get to do this instead of me and felt extremely sad and guilty because it should be me.”source ↗
“just wondering how long the eating and napping transition takes?”source ↗
“And naps are short while she’s there so going to bed at night she’s been overtired and having a really hard time settling down.”source ↗
“I don’t want to bother the daycare by calling with silly questions, but I have enough anxiety as it is with leaving him I want to be fully prepared.”source ↗
“My oldest just kindergarten this year and has always been in daycare/preschool and is having similar responses as your daughter. I really didn’t think it would be such a hard transition, but it has been.”source ↗
“i so stress my mommy sign my baby up for daycare in summer & school say baby get first priority few day before school start lady call my mommy & tell her baby on waiting list so whats it mean if say she get first priority but on wait list & i didn’t understand”source ↗
“i happy first bc i rly scared her start school & i want tell my mommy i don’t want her go but she make decisions bc she take care of baby”source ↗
“now for thursday ( 2 day ago ) school call & say have open slot for baby my mommy say ok so she start nxt wk & i don’t so rly want her start ik i have school but want ask my mommy if i can go w/ baby to daycare for first little days so she be ok i js rly scared & dont want nobody hurt baby or be mean at her .”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 6How long does it take a toddler to adjust to daycare?
- 2How do I make a daily schedule for a 3-month-old when returning to work?
- 2How to set up a daycare playdate when you never see the parents
- 5Switching from an unlicensed to a licensed daycare
- 3Should I bring up concerns with a new daycare?
- 3Baby gets on all fours but won't crawl