Regretting wedding planning long before the date
Planning a wedding can quickly become overwhelming, causing couples to lose the desire to go through with it and regret their commitments months in advance. The sheer stress of managing details like flowers and cakes, combined with the sickening feeling of spending large amounts of money on a single day, leaves individuals feeling trapped and anxious about social expectations.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1considering canceling the wedding despite social pressureDid this help you?
- 2canceling vendorsDid this help you?
- 3considering not getting a photographer at allDid this help you?
- 4do my own hair and makeupDid this help you?
- 5do not want a djDid this help you?
- 6got a dress on sale for 1000 eurosDid this help you?
- 7Making small tweaks to the ceremony structure to reduce anxiety (e.g., walking down the aisle together)Did this help you?
- 8Planning private vows or special 1-on-1 momentsDid this help you?
- 9Seeing a therapist and psychiatrist regularlyDid this help you?
- 10Faking a smile and pushing throughDid this help you?
- 11Saying no or declining requestsDid this help you?
- 12Setting clear boundaries on what tasks you are willing to help withDid this help you?
- 13Offering help selectively rather than taking on ongoing responsibilitiesDid this help you?
- 14Hiring a content creator or providing cheap camcorders for guests instead of booking a professional videographer.Did this help you?
- 15Skipping large centerpieces in favor of bud vases or pumpkins.Did this help you?
- 16Printing signs at home on card stock rather than buying custom signage.Did this help you?
- 17Doing own hair and makeup, or using press-on manicures to save on beauty costs.Did this help you?
- 18Sourcing dresses off the rack and buying wedding bands on Etsy.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Wedding is in one month. I am clinically depressed, we're fighting from wedding stress, wedding planning caused a lot of in law drama, I'm unhappy with my friends, my mom is in poor health and may not be able to attend or may have to leave early, my "soul dog" passed traumatically, and I never wanted a wedding in the first place...”source ↗
“I wanted to elope. He wanted a wedding. So we compromised with a micro backyard wedding. Sometimes it doesn't feel like that much of a compromise bc it still takes soooo much effort.”source ↗
“I just don't know how to bring myself to be excited. I am excited to be married, but not excited for the wedding.”source ↗
“What wedding expense do you regret the most or was the biggest waste of money?”source ↗
“I regret my wedding 14 months before it”source ↗
“I have a long context of why I would like to cancel my own wedding.”source ↗
“I really don’t feel like doing it anymore, and I am the bride.”source ↗
“I’m beginning to feel stressed about my lack of enthusiasm for planning a wedding.”source ↗
“When thinking about my own wedding, it makes me sad that I won’t be able to afford my taste.”source ↗
“When I look at Pinterest I get inspired and then immediately feel sad because I know how much those things cost.”source ↗
“I feel like I am being asked to do all the things a bridesmaid would do but not given the title. And ofc all the things are last min planned 😵💫”source ↗
“Overwhelmed and regretting planning a (supposedly small!) wedding..”source ↗
“Knowing that our wedding will cost maybe 15000 in total makes me kind of sick, not because we don't have the money, but it just seems like too much for one day.”source ↗
“We still need flowers and a wedding cake i feel so overwhelmed.”source ↗
“Not the same situation, but some of the same factors. Wedding is in 2 weeks, depressed and my anxiety is through the fucking roof, my mom is dead (past 2 years), etc.”source ↗
“Wedding is in 2 weeks, depressed and my anxiety is through the fucking roof”source ↗
“I also suffer from depression and can relate to some of what you’re saying ❤️🩹”source ↗
“I regret spending $30 on a signature cocktails sign - I could've made and printed one myself for far less.”source ↗
“I also regretted dry bouquets for the bridesmaids, I cringe everyone I see the photos.”source ↗
“Biggest regret is favors and DIY flowers which took up so much more time than anticipated!!!”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 3Why am I obsessing over my wedding day regrets?
- 10Why does planning a wedding feel like being judged?
- 10Why do I regret buying a car even though I can afford it?
- 5Fiancé and family booking wedding vendors behind my back
- 2Partner gets tense when talking about wedding
- 5Is it normal to feel guilty about leaving your wedding early?