How to say no to parents asking for money
Parents often pressure adult children for financial support to avoid crises like eviction, leaving children trapped between funding parental instability and saving for their own independence. This dynamic creates an overwhelming sense of obligation that makes it extremely difficult to refuse requests without feeling responsible for the resulting fallout.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Offering to pay bills relating to siblings directly instead of giving cash to parentsDid this help you?
- 2Giving money whenever requestedDid this help you?
- 3Offering a smaller amount than what was askedDid this help you?
- 4Refusing the request and standing firm on saying noDid this help you?
- 5Cutting off contact or using the gray rock method to handle manipulative behaviorDid this help you?
- 6Offering alternative resources like homebuyer assistance programs instead of buying the houseDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My mom has asked to “borrow” $500 additional for rent for 2 months repeatedly now (which i doubt she will repay if shes already always short).”source ↗
“Since I am not ready to move out yet should I give her it to prevent being evicted again?”source ↗
“Should I pay the extra $500/month so I have longer to save?”source ↗
“my parents have been renting their whole life and are finally thinking about buying a house, but for reasons I won’t disclose, one of my parents is afraid they won’t qualify for a loan to buy a house so they asked me if I’d buy the house for them when I get a job”source ↗
“I said I wasn’t comfortable because even though I don’t know much about homeownership, I know it can be risky and is an enormous responsibility. this parent got clearly upset and started to get passive aggressive, and we went back and forth.”source ↗
“I guess I’m just looking to vent but also for advice or maybe affirmation on my stance and to see whether I’m crazy for saying I wouldn’t want to buy the house and have it in my name?”source ↗
Where this came up
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