How do you stop parents from taking over relationship decisions?
It is hard to tell the difference between asking parents for advice and needing their approval when making major life choices. Letting parents have too much influence causes a partner to feel like they are making decisions with both the couple and the parents, creating significant relationship tension.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Continuing to seek and rely on parental advice because they provide wise input and support.
- 2Taking a newborn prep class together
- 3Asking how much help the partner wants and offering tips only when requested
- 4Allowing the partner space to figure things out and make mistakes unless the baby is in danger
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I let my parents have way too much influence over decisions that should really be between me and my fiancé.”source ↗
“My fiancé finally told me that sometimes it feels like he’s making decisions with me AND my parents.”source ↗
“I don’t want to completely shut my parents out, but I’m realizing there’s a difference between asking for advice and needing their approval.”source ↗
“How do you handle not bossing them around and letting them learn the ropes on their own, without overstepping or being annoying?”source ↗
“I would have been so annoyed if he had tried to boss me around or acted like a know it all.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 12Why do parents keep asking for my personal phone number?
- 6How to handle conflicting expectations on playdate drop-offs
- 3Why do hangouts always start right at kid bedtime?
- 3Why teachers can't push back against unreasonable parents and admin
- 7Why do parents get mad about minor rules but ignore failing grades?
- 3How to say no to parents asking for money