Why do I still act like I'm in the military at home?
Unconscious military habits like rushing family outings and using rigid communication styles bleed over into civilian life. These automatic behaviors prevent veterans from relaxing into a normal household rhythm and inadvertently cause children to mimic service-oriented quirks.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Consciously checking oneself to avoid acting like a drill instructorDid this help you?
- 2Buying wheeled backpacks for kids to avoid carrying itemsDid this help you?
- 3Laughing off the habits or acknowledging them with self-deprecating humorDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I don’t go full drill instructor or anything, but there are wmannerisms from the military do that I do without knowing.”source ↗
“One example is hurry up and wait. I try to get everyone dressed and ready to go as fast as possible to make sure we are early.”source ↗
“My toddler daughter knife hands instead of pointing.”source ↗
“If my kids complain that they are tired or have aches and pains the first thing I ask them is "How much water have you had?"”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
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- 3Should I quit a burnout job after only a few months?
- 2How do I keep my technical skills sharp while in management?
- 2Should I join the military or build a civilian career?