Said It Here

What should I do if someone else spanked my child

Finding out a babysitter or trusted adult laid hands on your child leaves you knowing it is not okay, but completely unsure of how to react. The conflict happens when someone else decides that smacking a child is the right way to teach them a lesson, while you are already working on the behavior through calm discussions. This forces you into a difficult position of figuring out what to do after a major parenting boundary has already been crossed.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    Filing a police report against the individual
  2. 2
    Cutting off contact and ending the friendship
  3. 3
    Only leaving children with a spouse or vetted nanny
  4. 4
    Holding firm boundaries with children without using physical discipline
  5. 5
    addressing the relative fully and firmly immediately
  6. 6
    having a discussion with the child when calm to address the root behavior

In their words

Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.

r/Parenting2 people · October 2026

“When I went to pick up my child, the partner informed me he spanked my child.”source ↗

“I don’t know how I feel about this other than the fact that I’m not okay he laid hands on my child.”source ↗

“What should I do?”source ↗

Suitable_Peanut_5876 · r/Parenting · 193 upvotes

“Like I get that he shouldn’t smack her; he shouldn’t smack/hit etc anyone. We are working on it and had a discussion when he was calm again.”source ↗

“But for a 78-year-old retired teacher to think that smacking a child on the hand will teach him not to smack others is just crazy work 🙄”source ↗

Annual-Duck5818 · r/Parenting · 1 upvotes

Where this came up

r/Parentingboundarieschildcaredisciplinefamily dynamicsparentingsafety

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