Toddler intentionally headbutting things and hitting themselves
Toddlers deliberately headbutt objects or hit their own heads hard enough to cause actual bruises. This jarring behavior often overlaps with defiantly hitting or biting parents, particularly out in public. The physical outbursts leave parents heartbroken, hysterical, and feeling like complete failures who do not know what to do.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Distracting the toddler during the behavior rather than drawing attention to itDid this help you?
- 2Removing the child from what they are doing, gently stopping their hands, saying 'noo, gentle', and showing affectionDid this help you?
- 3Teaching basic sign language (help, mad, all done) to give the toddler alternative ways to express agencyDid this help you?
- 4Consistent redirection and repetitionDid this help you?
- 5Making hitting an immediate time-out offenceDid this help you?
- 6Using a supported time out on the sofa with the child in their lapDid this help you?
- 7Gently restraining the toddler's arms so they cannot continue hittingDid this help you?
- 8Modeling calm, deep breathing during the time outDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Our 15 month old daughter has taken to headbutting things on purpose.”source ↗
“There's been a couple of times she's hurt her head doing it as well because half the time she doesn't do it gently either!”source ↗
“My 2 year old has been doing this since around the same time, in addition to hitting himself in the head with his hands. Its jarring! Hes given himself bruises because he hit his head on the corner of a chair.”source ↗
“My toddler is hitting and biting \*only\* me. In public it’s definitely more, but it’s only me. She’s defiant and just will not listen.”source ↗
“I am hysterical and in constant tears. It hurts my heart so badly. I don’t know what to do any more.”source ↗
“I’m so upset. Idk what I am doing to let her down. I feel like I’m failing at this mom thing.”source ↗
“When my oldest was around 3, she had a real problem with hitting me and her dad, like a lot. It was several times a day.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 3How to get a child to stop putting non-food items in their mouth
- 2What should I do if someone else spanked my child
- 2Why is my tall toddler refusing to walk unassisted?
- 3How do you handle a toddler who can't move on from routines or transitions?
- 8How to handle toddler hitting in public
- 4My child is constantly loud but their hearing is fine