Will a former stray cat ever become affectionate?
Former strays often remain cautious and distant for years, leaving owners feeling like roommates rather than companions. While some cats slowly warm up, building trust requires extreme patience and may never result in a traditionally snuggly pet.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Using treats like Churus and back scratchers to build trustDid this help you?
- 2Giving the cat time, space, and remaining patientDid this help you?
- 3Accepting the cat's independent personality and alternative forms of affectionDid this help you?
- 4giving him some wet foodDid this help you?
- 5staying in the same roomDid this help you?
- 6hand-feeding churu, Delectables or pieces of cooked chickenDid this help you?
- 7ignoring him to let him feel safeDid this help you?
- 8Bring treats, food, and water consistentlyDid this help you?
- 9Use a Churu treatDid this help you?
- 10following up with the vet or shelter via emailDid this help you?
- 11trying to adopt through the shelter after the foster hold periodDid this help you?
- 12Waiting for the upcoming veterinary spay appointment to see if it calms her downDid this help you?
- 13Keeping her in the sunroom instead of bringing her fully insideDid this help you?
- 14Placing food closer and closer to yourself every day to build trustDid this help you?
- 15using a cushion as a barrier for legsDid this help you?
- 16limiting petting sessions to 2-3 rubsDid this help you?
- 17visiting and sitting in the room for 10-20 minutes at a time during the dayDid this help you?
- 18Searching local areas for previous ownersDid this help you?
- 19Checking for microchipsDid this help you?
- 20Seeking advice from online communitiesDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I expressed interest in adopting her and was told they’ve taken that into account and have my details. After an 8 day foster hold they’ll send her to north Melbourne shelter and I can try adopting through there.”source ↗
“I cant help but feed the strays that seek refuge under my house here in Key West.”source ↗
“Very skittish but we are making progress. I put the food closer and closer to me every day.”source ↗
“Has anyone had luck having one be more than just tolerant of you after a couple of years?”source ↗
“Any hope for a slow burn relationship with this cat, or are we destined to just be roommates with occasional pets?”source ↗
“She seems to want alot of attention, if we are home and haven't given her time, she will meow and occasionally tap the windows. This is even after feeding her. Is this normal behavior? We plan on getting her fixed in 2 weeks, will that change the way she interacts with us?”source ↗
“I’m a new cat owner (owned working dogs all my life) any advice?”source ↗
“The hard part is coming in at night when he's awake. He tries to escape the room desperately, as that's when he's most active.”source ↗
“I'm not sure how to make his transition easier.”source ↗
“How do i get it to trust me enough to pet it?”source ↗
“They told me they’d give it to the shelter and I’d have to go through a whole process. But since I rescued her I feel like they should be able to let me adopt her?”source ↗
“i’d love some advice on how to gain his trust.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 6How to trap and transport an unfamiliar stray cat to the vet
- 21How to tell if a neighborhood stray cat is in heat
- 48How to help a terrified rescue cat adjust to a new home
- 3Will my cat get depressed leaving a multi-cat home?
- 4Tips for socializing rescued stray kittens
- 3Next steps for taming a feral kitten