Should I charge my adult child living at home for expenses?
Charging adult children helps teach them real-world financial responsibilities, but it can also drain the savings they need to move out. Parents are torn between covering household costs like food and utilities and ensuring their kids can build a nest egg for the future.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1putting the money paid by the adult child into a hidden savings account to return to them later as a down paymentDid this help you?
- 2having adult children buy groceries and cook for the family on set nights instead of paying direct cashDid this help you?
- 3making them responsible for specific individual bills like phones and gas while keeping housing freeDid this help you?
- 4requiring them to move out immediately upon graduation to achieve full financial independenceDid this help you?
- 5Treating them as adults and only asking for a basic heads-up or courtesy notice about meals and overnight stays to avoid worry.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“If they choose to continue living at home after they graduate in about a year, we are considering charging them an amount that covers their share of household expenses, such as food, utilities, and general wear and tear; is this fair, and do you have any thoughts on this? How should we approach this?”source ↗
“If my kid is paying me, then that is less money they are putting in their savings account. They are living here to save money. I don't and won't charge my adult kids rent.”source ↗
“Morally torn here myself. One side I see a good lesson on teaching your kids how the world works with baby steps into bills, etc. On the other hand I feel like making sure they are setting themselves up for success and moving out and on with their life with hopefully a saved nest egg.”source ↗
“I could see having house rules- like they need to ask permission to have guests at YOUR house. But no I can’t imagine telling a 21 year old adult aren’t allowed to spend the night away from home.”source ↗
“If your child is 21 and living at home do you expect them to ask permission to do stuff? If they have a boyfriend do they get to go stay the weekend away with them without being married? What are your thoughts on this”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 5How to stop worrying about your adult child's lifestyle choices
- 6How to balance retirement savings and college funds
- 5Why are parents applying for apartments on behalf of adult children?
- 4Is it okay to let 10-year-olds hang out in a house with no parents?
- 3Is it okay to raise a child in a one-bedroom apartment?
- 7Tax and financial implications of paying off a parent's debt