How to word an unconventional dress code on an invitation
People feel unsure how to write out creative or non-traditional attire guidelines because they have never seen examples before. This lack of clear phrasing stops them from confidently communicating what guests should wear.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Using playful phrases like 'Dive bar glam' and listing specific clothing items or styles.Did this help you?
- 2looking at other weddings for inspiration on phrasing like garden formalDid this help you?
- 3asking online communities for feedback and inputDid this help you?
- 4Addressing only the names of the adults on the envelopeDid this help you?
- 5Sending vague RSVP check-insDid this help you?
- 6Accommodating children after all to avoid confrontationDid this help you?
- 7letting guests wear whatever they wantDid this help you?
- 8dropping specific dress code requirementsDid this help you?
- 9Using standard terms like semi-formal or cocktail attireDid this help you?
- 10Cutting down long explanations into short bullet pointsDid this help you?
- 11Adding notes about the weather or outdoor venue conditionsDid this help you?
- 12Leaving the dress code description brief and leaving it up to interpretationDid this help you?
- 13Having the future partner text explanations directly to their family membersDid this help you?
- 14Adding explicit vetoes like requesting no jeansDid this help you?
- 15Linking reputable websites for purchasing or renting traditional garmentsDid this help you?
- 16Sending explainers of garment types so guests know what to look forDid this help you?
- 17Taking close family members shopping in personDid this help you?
- 18Using alternative terms like cocktail or semi-formalDid this help you?
- 19Adding explicit footwear warnings for the grassDid this help you?
- 20Trying to explain the upscale vibe through custom stationery and invitationsDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“How can I tell them that the invite is just intended for her and her husband without hurting any feelings?”source ↗
“My worry is that I've been too vague about it being just adults so as not to be considered 'rude', and that maybe people haven't been picking up on it?”source ↗
“I’m trying to make the dress code accessible to all parties as I know not all people have easily accessible Indian clothing and it can become very expensive to purchase Indian clothing.”source ↗
“Would like feedback on dress code.”source ↗
“Just unsure of how to word it because I've never seen it written out anywhere, it's usually a known/unspoken thing for town festivals, etc.”source ↗
“Is a formal dress code appropriate for our wedding?”source ↗
“Is this a good description of the dress code?”source ↗
“I've never gotten married before and I don't really know what I'm doing so please be nice :)”source ↗
“I've grown up to be nail-bitingly terrified of saying the wrong thing, and more often than not it seems that results in me saying nothing at all.”source ↗
“Wearing black to a beach wedding sounds like absoulte hell lmao”source ↗
“Asking your guest to dress as props is too much.”source ↗
“Eh, guests are not props and it’s generally considered poor taste to ask guests to wear a specific color.”source ↗
“I'm debating how to phrase my dress code and would love input! For context, my SO's family is from Northern Ireland, and I recently found out that they don't really do dress codes over there.”source ↗
“However, while I would like people to shoot for cocktail level formality (and not wear jeans), I don't want people to stress too much about this.”source ↗
“I would just leave it at the first sentence. People can figure out from “generally” that it’s not strict and if you start adding too many words people just won’t read it.”source ↗
“I think I get a little tripped up on the reception “express your personal style while keeping it refined” - like are you worried people may take “personal style” part and run with something… too revealing, or casual, or?”source ↗
“I'm struggling with dress code for our early June 2027 backyard wedding.”source ↗
“Everything I read about dress codes on Reddit says backyard is automatically casual, no way around that.”source ↗
“How do I say that in a dress code?”source ↗
“So am I being the bride that’s asking a little much?”source ↗
“Every wedding I’ve been to or seen dress codes for are all formal / black-tie. That just simply isn’t my fiancé and I. We don’t want people wearing sweatpants and jeans, but we also don’t expect them to wear suits with ties. Does this get the point across?”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
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- 6Should I invite a couple if they only invited my fiancé?
- 9How to choose between two wedding dresses
- 3Groomsmen refusing to buy wedding shoes
- 5How to tell guests your wedding is childfree without causing drama