How to know if it's safe to date a coworker
Misreading workplace signals can trigger an immediate call from HR and ruin professional standing. Fear of awkward fallout and strict office politics stops people from pursuing office relationships, leaving them guessing whether mutual interest is real or too risky to touch.
What the numbers show
Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count
- This comes up 11.7× more often in r/Teachers than across the site as a whole.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Pretending not to date until engagedDid this help you?
- 2Only dating people in different departmentsDid this help you?
- 3Waiting until leaving the jobDid this help you?
- 4Test the waters by going out on walks or to get food togetherDid this help you?
- 5Ask how she feels firstDid this help you?
- 6Start with a coffeeDid this help you?
- 7Inviting him to dinner to test the watersDid this help you?
- 8Quitting the job or preparing to find a new position before pursuing itDid this help you?
- 9Waiting until after getting through busy season for career advantageDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I mean, one wrong misreading of interest and HR will be calling you in. What are the green lights to pursue a coworker?”source ↗
“For every 'happily ever after' there are a thousand 'and then HR had to step in.'”source ↗
“You don’t shit where you eat”source ↗
“So we were at a company happy hour a few weeks ago and he asked me if I wanted to continue to have drinks elsewhere. Like an idiot, I asked if we should invite the rest of the team, and then he said sure. In hindsight, I think he wanted to go with just me? So vibes are high?”source ↗
“I'm a manager and she's a senior. We flirt all the time and everything just hints that she wants me too. The worst that could happen would be that we would never be on the same engagement, right?!”source ↗
“I’m a senior and he’s a manager. We flirt all the time and everything just hints that he wants me too. The worst that could happen would be that we would never be on the same engagement, right?!”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 7How to set boundaries with a work friend who is demanding HR info
- 9Why do people think basic workplace kindness means romance?
- 2How to date when teaching leaves you with zero emotional energy
- 4How to handle a new teacher who is trying to take over
- 6Why is everyone at work so boring and uninspired?
- 5Coworker taking credit for my work