Said It Here

Dealing with family pressure to include relatives in a wedding party

People often face external pressure and guilt from relatives demanding to be included as bridesmaids out of obligation or entitlement rather than genuine closeness. This creates awkward situations where the couple is made to feel unreasonable for wanting to choose their own wedding party.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    Leaving the person out and ignoring outside pressure
  2. 2
    Finding other meaningful ways for the person to be involved instead of making them a bridesmaid
  3. 3
    Offering a non-bridesmaid role such as doing a reading
  4. 4
    Sticking to your boundary and refusing to add her to the bridal party
  5. 5
    Leaving family communication entirely to your fiancé so you don't get stuck in the middle

In their words

Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.

r/weddingplanning2 people · September 2026 – October 2026

“I’m stuck in an awkward bridal party situation. I’d love some outside opinions, especially from anyone who has dealt with something similar.”source ↗

“Someone recently suggested that I ask her to be a bridesmaid because she may feel left out.”source ↗

“I also feel uncomfortable asking her now simply because someone else suggested it, because it feels like I’d be asking out of obligation rather than because I genuinely chose her to be part of my bridal party.”source ↗

“I’m torn because I can genuinely see both sides. I don’t want her to feel like she was deliberately singled out when so many members of her family are involved, but I also don’t love the idea of asking someone to be my bridesmaid primarily because I feel pressured or guilty.”source ↗

ab3199 · r/weddingplanning · 1 upvotes

“She’s saying she “deserves” to be a bridesmaid because it’s her brother’s wedding—but they’re even that close, regardless the bridesmaids aren’t chosen by the groom in my opinion.”source ↗

“At this point, it feels less about wanting to support us and more about wanting the title.”source ↗

“The entitlement and acting like I’m doing something so wrong to her and she’s never done anything to deserve this is unsettling. Am I being unreasonable for sticking to my decision?”source ↗

Wide-Eye435 · r/weddingplanning

Where this came up

r/weddingplanningboundariesbridal partyfamily dramafamily dynamicsin-lawssocial pressurewedding planning

People with this problem also raised