Is it rude to invite only some cousins to a wedding?
Inviting certain extended family members or cousins while excluding others due to venue capacity and budget constraints is a common dilemma when trying to cut down a guest list. Trying to decide where to draw the line often leaves couples struggling with whether the exclusion is considered rude or how big of a deal it will be.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Cutting guest lists in entire circles rather than individualsDid this help you?
- 2Emailing cousins in advance to see who cannot make it due to distance or childrenDid this help you?
- 3Inviting only the family members you have an active relationship withDid this help you?
- 4Prioritizing the couple's own friends for the last-minute spots insteadDid this help you?
- 5Leaving the distant family friends off the guest list entirelyDid this help you?
- 6Implementing a strict no-kids policy across the boardDid this help you?
- 7Inviting only immediate family children or specific older childrenDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Getting married next year in September, and my fiance and I (25F and 26M) are really trying to cut down on our guest list due to capacity concerns, but we've reached a point where we can't cut it down any more without taking out family members.”source ↗
“Would it be rude to invite some third cousins and not others?”source ↗
“We’re 5 weeks out from my wedding now, and my mom asked me to consider inviting their kids, who are a few years younger and adults now.”source ↗
“How big of deal is this?”source ↗
“I’d prioritize my friends personally. I’d almost rather not invite those kids if you can’t invite their SOs”source ↗
“Is it shitty to JUST invite my cousins kids and no one else’s? Am I missing something in this debate????”source ↗
“What I know about her past and how she took advantage of my parents makes me very uncomfortable. Will she get too drunk or cause a scene?”source ↗
“If I don't invite her, I know she will be upset and I don't want that to impact her relationship with my mom. I don't know what I would say to her if she wasn't invited, especially because my mom's brother might stir the pot.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 2How to do birthday party invites and RSVPs for middle schoolers
- 2Dealing with family pressure to include relatives in a wedding party
- 6Should I invite a couple if they only invited my fiancé?
- 8How to choose a bridal party without hurting feelings
- 2How to ask parents to handle wedding guest outreach
- 5Where should I draw the line on wedding photo combinations?