What to do when your wedding planner goes silent
Wedding planners often go weeks without responding, leaving couples to chase them down for updates and vendor deadlines. This radio silence after paying a large deposit leaves couples stranded with no clear way to move forward or know if they should demand a refund and fire them.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Reaching out to the planner proactively about deadlines and vendor itemsDid this help you?
- 2Asking a local venue owner with connections to the vendor to check if their contact information changedDid this help you?
- 3Sending another email apologizing for potential communication ambiguity and re-verifying availabilityDid this help you?
- 4Contacting the rental company directly myself as changes have needed to be madeDid this help you?
- 5Scheduled the final venue walkthrough myselfDid this help you?
- 6Taking more initiative in how the meetings and planning process are runDid this help you?
- 7Reaching out directly to vendors yourselfDid this help you?
- 8Contemplating bypassing the planner to handle tasks like save the dates independentlyDid this help you?
- 9checking the contract to verify expectations of responsivenessDid this help you?
- 10asking the coordinator directly about response expectationsDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“6 days out and my wedding planner might be ghosting me”source ↗
“I haven't heard back since. She also sent out a mass email to her clients that again explained she had given birth but gave an emergency email out that her assistant apparently checks. I emailed that Wednesday and Friday and haven't heard back.”source ↗
“6 days out from the wedding and I havent heard from anyone since last Monday, there are currently no plans for a venue walkthrough with them, or even just a final meeting.”source ↗
“Not being proactive in telling us when different vendors and other items need to be finalized. We have to reach out to them about these things.”source ↗
“Not hearing from them for weeks on end in the group chat”source ↗
“I have now reached back out 3 times in the last month and a half and it is radio silence.”source ↗
“I have also paid 50% of the total cost for their service.”source ↗
“How do I move forward from this? Do I assume I need to find a new one? Do I have a right to ask for a refund? I don’t know what to do.”source ↗
“Is it normal for your wedding coordinator to be slow to respond to emails or not respond at all?”source ↗
“I’ve sent follow-up emails and still haven’t heard back.”source ↗
“Our wedding isn’t until next summer, so I understand we have time, but I’m wondering if this is typical or if I should be concerned.”source ↗
“We had our first meeting with our wedding planner today and we just spent the entire hour going over proposals for food, photography, and DJ.”source ↗
“I was hoping the first call would have been more of a get to know us -- what our vision is, our tastes, etc.”source ↗
“I feel like I am mostly the one initiating any conversations about planning and timeline.”source ↗
“she hasn't really sent any follow-ups after our talks or given us any type of timeline document to work with so we know where we stand.”source ↗
“we met with 3 different vendors (catering, design, and paper) over 6 weeks ago and have not received any follow up communication or quotes from 2 of them.”source ↗
“I reached out to my planner regarding the floral and paper vendors and she said she would follow up with updates, but it has been another week and a half and crickets...”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 13Bridesmaids ignoring texts and not getting their dresses
- 4What to do if your wedding photographer is rude or unresponsive
- 3How to get wedding advice without hiring a full planner
- 2Partner gets tense when talking about wedding
- 4How to stop someone from inviting themselves to your wedding
- 10Friends giving terrible excuses to skip my wedding