Said It Here

Should I give my kids a letter from their absent father?

Deciding whether to share a letter from an estranged, absent parent is agonizing because you want to protect your children from getting their hopes up and being let down again. This leaves you completely torn at a standstill, struggling to navigate whether to let them read it or reach out further.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    holding onto the letter and withholding it from the children until the parent shows actual improvement
  2. 2
    Using genetic testing to find medical concerns
  3. 3
    Sending a registered letter requesting medical history only

In their words

Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.

r/Parenting2 people · September 2026

I’m really torn on whether I should reach out to his family independently for my son’s sake.source ↗

My heart just breaks tbh.source ↗

CageSideCutie2DL · r/Parenting · 1 upvotes

I'm at a standstill if i should let them see and read it.source ↗

I want to protect their hearts, and not see them get their hopes up and then be let down again.source ↗

So hard to navigate these hard choices 🥺.source ↗

ConsiderationLoud138 · r/Parenting

Where this came up

People with this problem also raised