Dealing with insensitive questions about having a baby at 40
People in your social circle often ask insensitive questions when you have your first child at 40. This leaves you wondering if they are secretly judging you and thinking your decision is selfish and wrong.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1ignoring the questionsDid this help you?
- 2telling people to mind their own businessDid this help you?
- 3Seeking anonymous perspective or validation online before sharing pregnancy news with personal social circles.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“But my friend who’s 40 just had her first and people are asking her all kinds of insensitive questions.”source ↗
“If this person was in your social circle, would you secretly judge her, and think what she’s doing is selfish and wrong, or would you think it’s completely fine?”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 2Why do I feel so overwhelmed with another pregnancy?
- 5Is it legal for interviewers to ask about family planning or kids?
- 6Why are there so many surprise questions on professional exams?
- 3Why do coworkers assume I know what they are talking about?
- 8How to cope with being one and done against your choice
- 2Parents walking into classrooms unescorted after school