Said It Here

How to handle wedding invites when you've drifted apart

Cutting distant friends from a wedding guest list triggers heavy guilt and the awkwardness of mutual rejection when you can't attend their events either. This dynamic forces couples into second-guessing their choices and worrying about looking like a jerk over drifting relationships.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    Politely declining the other person's wedding invitation and keeping explanations brief
  2. 2
    Blaming guest list cuts on limited venue size or budget constraints
  3. 3
    Accepting that other people may feel disappointed and letting go of managing their emotions
  4. 4
    Accepting the invitation and feeling reassured by comments from others

In their words

Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.

Now I do feel some doubt, but of course you can not take it back. Was it strange for us to invite them?source ↗

deamster3 · r/weddingplanning · 3 upvotes

But it's hard not to feel like a huge jerk, because I will basically have to tell this person that 1) I won't be attending their wedding and 2) They won't be invited to mine, even though neither decision is necessarily personal.source ↗

there_is_a_field · r/weddingplanning · 1 upvotes

Where this came up

People with this problem also raised