How to deal with being excluded by cliques at work
Workplace cliques and colleagues often freeze new hires or outsiders out by ignoring them, making plans in front of them, and applying double standards where normal sharing is labeled as bragging. This constant exclusion makes work feel lonely and degrading, while hurting relationships and career advancement.
Core Friction Pattern
Analysis of 5 peer accounts across online developer and community forums reveals that “How to deal with being excluded by cliques at work” repeatedly surfaces due to edge-case mismatches between standard defaults and real-world environments. Standard troubleshooting frequently falls short, compelling practitioners to develop custom workarounds.
+7 alternative community-tested workarounds cataloged below.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
How to deal with being excluded by cliques at work
- 1Documenting everything, including dates and witnesses to exclusion or complaints.Did this help you?
- 2Building allies and finding sponsors outside of the immediate team or clique.Did this help you?
- 3Joining employee resource networks for support.Did this help you?
- 4Keeping track of professional wins and results in writing.Did this help you?
- 5Keeping your head down and trying to get in and outDid this help you?
- 6Inserting yourself into alternative lunch plans or avoiding the staff lounge altogetherDid this help you?
- 7Strictly following the handbook and procedures to cover your bases with administrationDid this help you?
- 8Waiting it out and hoping things improve with timeDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“In about 3 of those jobs, i keep running into the same problem … people wanting to exclude me from everything.”source ↗
“When I try connecting with people they never show interest back, I feel like it’s one sided because it is one sided.”source ↗
“For some reason, when I mention an achievement it’s bragging but when others do it it’s harmless and just "sharing" / "conversing".”source ↗
“How do I protect my reputation, build relationships, and continue advancing my career when I repeatedly feel unwelcome in the workplace?”source ↗
“I am in my first year working in a district, and i feel more uncomfortable at my school sometimes. I just feel like everyone is in a big clique that I’m not a part of.”source ↗
“I had some issues with a student that made admin dislike me, as I did not agree with their stance on what to do. Since then I feel like I have been almost on the blacklist and feel just awkward.”source ↗
“Half the time I’m totally ignored, like I’m not even there. I feel like I just keep my head down and try to get in and out but this isn’t how I wanted my life at work to be :(”source ↗
“I definitely worked at a school where my department was comprised of “Mean Girls: on Wednesdays we wear pink”. It was a complete clique and they’d stand outside my room and make lunch plans on PD days and asked everyone else but me.”source ↗
“It was the first time in my life where I just felt like the odd one out. It was certainly lonely, especially since I’m pretty social normally.”source ↗
“Same thing is happening to me. It’s a very degrading experience. I expected to be disrespected by students but not by my fellow colleagues… just for being the newbie.”source ↗
Where this came up
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