Why does my mother-in-law act like I don't exist around the baby?
Mothers-in-law often focus exclusively on their own family's traits and treat the baby as belonging solely to their son rather than the couple. This behavior makes mothers feel completely invisible and erased, preventing them from sharing their own family heritage or feeling acknowledged as a parent.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Ignoring the comments or rolling eyes mentallyDid this help you?
- 2Jokingly interjecting with mentions of the mother's side of the family or personal baby traitsDid this help you?
- 3Limiting extra effort to invite them over or spend time togetherDid this help you?
- 4Taking personal time or going to the spa while the in-law visitsDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Does anyone else feel like they disappear when their MIL is around their baby?”source ↗
“Sometimes it genuinely feels like I don't exist.”source ↗
“What about my side of the family? My dad has passed away, my grandma has passed away, and Poppa has passed away. What about the traits he could have from my side? What about what I was like as a baby?”source ↗
“I think that's what I'm struggling with most. Sometimes it feels like she sees him as her son's baby rather than our baby.”source ↗
“I relate to this post a lot. It annoyed me endlessly that my MIL constantly insisted that my kids traits are most like their uncle's (my husbands brother).”source ↗