Why does my baby prefer everyone else over me?
Babies and toddlers frequently go through phases of attachment where they show clear favoritism toward other family members, caregivers, or even casual helpers over a parent. This favoritism causes intense emotional pain and a deep sense of personal rejection for the parent who ranks last in the child's daily preferences.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1spending more time with the childDid this help you?
- 2reworking schedules to be more involvedDid this help you?
- 3trying to be okay with not always being number oneDid this help you?
- 4creating memories and fun experiences in free timeDid this help you?
- 5Taking short outings away from the baby like walks, gym visits, supermarkets, or the salon.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I am at the end of my tether.”source ↗
“Is there anything I can do to help my 12 month old be more comfortable and happy with daddy?”source ↗
“she just screams and reaches for me and cries when I leave the room.”source ↗
“I’m so tired of being the default and she only EVER wants me.”source ↗
“I rank last. And it hurts.”source ↗
“Baby doesn’t seem to like being held by me (aka mom). She cries and tries to kick away.”source ↗
“It’s to the point where I get anxiety when I’m alone with her because I’m afraid she’s gonna rage when I try to calm her and get her to sleep.”source ↗
“I’m a FTM and I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing”source ↗
“I have started to notice recently she does not smile at me or get excited at my sight like she would usually do for everyone else. This makes me a bit upset and I feel like she is not as fond of me maybe”source ↗
“It stings a bit since I never had this happen with my other 3 children”source ↗
“I guess it hurts when even a hired help, who isn’t even his nanny rank above me.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 10Why won't my baby nap anywhere except being held?
- 2Why does my mother-in-law act like I don't exist around the baby?
- 7Older child acting out and getting jealous after new baby
- 4Toddler suddenly refuses usual babysitter and acts out
- 3What to say when family makes comments about a baby's size or looks
- 7Why does everything I learned with my first baby fail on the second?