Why do I feel guilty for thinking my wedding was better than childbirth?
Society pushes the expectation that childbirth must be the greatest moment of your life, completely ignoring the physical trauma, pain, and medical emergencies involved. Carrying this guilt stops people from honestly acknowledging how terrifying and exhausting birth actually was compared to genuinely joyful life events like getting married.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1differentiating joy from chaosDid this help you?
- 2rejecting societal expectations around motherhoodDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“The day I had my first kid (long labor, emergency c, totally exhausted and overwhelmed) was my lowest point.”source ↗
“Is it bad that I think the best day in my life was getting married rather than the day I had my kids? Please be honest.”source ↗
“Objectively the whole day is awful and then there’s like maybe one blissful moment when your baby is placed on your chest for the first time if that gets to happen and they aren’t rushed to the nicu.”source ↗
“The day my daughter was born, both mother and baby almost died. So absolutely not the best day of our lives.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 12Why do I feel guilty on slow work days?
- 4Why do I feel so guilty taking time for myself?
- 5Why do I feel pressured to throw a big first birthday party?
- 7Why do people ask for tech help and never upvote?
- 3Is it wrong to have a wedding during a global crisis?
- 2Is my 3.5 year old's preschool schedule too long?