Why do I feel so guilty taking time for myself?
Any moment spent on self-care triggers intense sickness and self-blame, forcing a constant scramble between chasing household chores and overcompensating with the kids. This relentless guilt leaves nothing clean or done, making it impossible to rest without feeling irresponsible or unfit.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Deleting or avoiding social media platforms like Instagram
- 2Curating feeds or limiting app usage
- 3Checking with the child to see if they prefer going out with friends instead of parents
- 4Doing alternative activities leading up to the holiday
- 5Attending trick-or-treating for a short time before leaving
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“i feel genuinely sick about any second I ever do anything for myself and hten beat myself up about it and go hug my kids or play with them, then ignore laundry or whatever and then get mad because nothing is ever done or clean!”source ↗
“Am I the worst mom ever for wanting to go out for Halloween instead of going trick-or-treating with her? I know that the years are limited.”source ↗
“i just started working with kids as an afterschool teacher, but plan on working in this field my whole life. and even previous to starting i feel guilty to "be irresponsible" outside of work.”source ↗
“logically i know the kids have no way of knowing this but i still can't shake this "imposter" ish feeling i have because of it. like i'm not fit to do this job or something.”source ↗
“how do i get over this??”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 4Why do I feel so guilty for taking a sick day?
- 4Why do I feel guilty for thinking my wedding was better than childbirth?
- 5Why am I too exhausted and overstimulated to parent?
- 3Losing yourself after having a baby
- 4Handling childcare and bedtime routines completely alone while working
- 5Why can't I spend money on myself even though I earn well?