How to comfort a high schooler who tries hard but gets bad results
When a teenager puts in maximum effort but still experiences minimal academic or athletic results, it can lead to intense emotional distress, tears in the car, and an all-around depressed mood. This discouragement stops them from coping with disappointment and can cause them to quit or break down under the weight of unmet expectations.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Affirming the child's feelings using nonviolent communicationDid this help you?
- 2Reframing away from immediate results and focusing on the effort, personal progress, or passing gradesDid this help you?
- 3Evaluating whether the child still finds the activity fun despite the lack of successDid this help you?
- 4Assessing underlying issues like missed fundamentals, test anxiety, learning disabilities, or lack of natural talentDid this help you?
- 5Taking the child to specialty shoe stores for running analysisDid this help you?
- 6Running alongside the child for practiceDid this help you?
- 7Scheduling a doctor's appointment to check lab workDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“How would a parent console a child (high school age, though information for younger is fine) that feels sad when they put in more than enough effort, but the results are minimal?”source ↗
Where this came up
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