Said It Here

How do you pet a cat without making them mad?

First-time owners often cannot tell if a cat enjoys being petted or if they are accidentally hurting and overstimulating them. This uncertainty makes it difficult to read a cat's body language or know how to touch them safely without causing distress.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    Trying gentle under the chin rubbing, rubbing cheeks, and around the back side of her eyes
  2. 2
    Relying on the cat to react and teach you what they like
  3. 3
    Checking out related online communities like r/catbongos

In their words

Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.

r/cats2 people · September 2026

“As you can probably tell, idk how to pet a kitty. Never had one before!”source ↗

you_no_know_me · r/cats · 36 upvotes

“I cant tell if she likes it, if im hurting her, if im overstimulating her, or what.”source ↗

“I was wondering if anybody knows why shes like this, is she just weird? I dont mind doing it but I want to make sure im not hurting her.”source ↗

Weather_Constant · r/cats · 1 upvotes

Where this came up

People with this problem also raised