Why does my manager's communication keep flipping?
Managers who demand strict obedience while also expecting employees to think for themselves create an impossible trap where instructions constantly contradict each other. Employees are left on edge trying to decode mixed signals, especially when a boss enforces polite communication rules like saying please and thank you that they fail to use themselves.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Complying with the requested communication style to avoid conflict
- 2Using AI programs or templates to generate polished, polite responses
- 3Asking the manager directly for specific examples of desired communication styles
- 4Trying to anticipate the supervisor's next move
- 5Doing research online on how to be a better helper
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I have been at this new job for a week. My manager is also new and has been here for a month.”source ↗
“Can you help me understand what he means? I have been there for a week lol.”source ↗
“I find that not consistent with his communication with other people where he usually includes “hi” and “please” and “thank you””source ↗
“I’m always on edge around him.”source ↗
“His two biggest rules are “just follow my directions to a T and you wont go wrong” and “think for yourself dont just wait for me to say something” and those sometimes contradict each other.”source ↗
“i keep trying to do what he says but its keeps flipping”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 5How do I deal with non-technical managers and constant interruptions?
- 7How do I know what my job actually is with no communication?
- 6How to handle conflicting expectations on playdate drop-offs
- 2Why is Scrum being forced onto non-Agile teams?
- 6Why does management give us arbitrary deadlines without explaining why?
- 3How to handle vague employee complaints about attitudes and disrespect