Said It Here

Inviting people to pre-wedding events who aren't invited to the wedding

Pre-wedding events like engagement parties are traditionally meant only for wedding guests, leaving hosts struggling to celebrate with coworkers or friends without causing social friction or making uninvited guests feel secondary. Trying to navigate this creates awkward assumptions about who will receive a wedding invite, and people feel there is no classy way to handle the overlap.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    Renaming the event to avoid engagement or wedding terminology
  2. 2
    Hosting a casual, no-gifts happy hour instead of an official party
  3. 3
    Waiting to celebrate with coworkers or uninvited people in a low-key way after the wedding has already occurred
  4. 4
    Trimming the event guest list down to only include people who will receive wedding invitations
  5. 5
    planning casual alternative events like bowling and pizza
  6. 6
    consulting family members for consensus
  7. 7
    researching pricing for restaurants and alternative venues

In their words

Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.

I guess I am not sure what is considered a “normal” price for this dinner to know what is too outrageous?source ↗

jabushnell04 · r/weddingplanning · 6 upvotes

There’s not really a classy way to do this. Engagement parties should only be for people invited to the wedding.source ↗

Eastcoastnomad1 · r/weddingplanning · 1 upvotes

I was using it as a way to celebrate the engagement with people that wouldn’t be invited to the wedding like coworkers.source ↗

Maybe I can change the name to something else so the assumption isn’t there that there will be additional invites.source ↗

Level_Maybe6398 · r/weddingplanning

Where this came up

People with this problem also raised