Said It Here

How to schedule wedding dances without boring the guests

Multiple full dances force guests to sit and watch for ten to twelve minutes straight, which creates an awkward and empty atmosphere. This problem stops couples from including special dances without feeling selfish or worrying that everyone will avoid the dance floor entirely.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    Shortening each dance song to 1-2 minutes maximum
  2. 2
    Inviting guests onto the dance floor partway through the first dance
  3. 3
    Doing parent dances before the main couple's first dance
  4. 4
    Having the theatrical dance later in the evening after dinner when guests are drinking
  5. 5
    Compromising with alcohol so the partner might try dancing slightly tipsy
  6. 6
    Going out dancing at a club later that night with the few people who will dance
  7. 7
    Making a playlist instead of spending money on a professional DJ
  8. 8
    Considering structured dancing like contra, line, or swing with an instructor
  9. 9
    Planning to do the first dance right after the reception entrance to relax through dinner.

In their words

Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.

“I'm a little anxious so we wanted to do the dance first to let us relax through dinner and enjoy the rest of the evening.”source ↗

“The problem is that we don't have any parent dances or anything planned after dinner (her father is deceased, my mother is in a wheelchair) and I'm not sure if that's setting us up for an awkward transition into open dancing for the evening.”source ↗

WrittenPermission · r/weddingplanning · 2 upvotes

“Does this mean we have to either do the full dance with people just watching us, followed by two more entire dances of people just watching?”source ↗

“It seems a bit extreme to make people watch you for potentially 10-12 minutes while you’re doing different dances. 😂”source ↗

“How have you done this to keep it smooth and flowing?”source ↗

FireAutumnDays · r/weddingplanning · 1 upvotes

“I think I may be the only one who wants to dance at our wedding and I'm worried it would be selfish of me and might create an awkward dead empty space”source ↗

“basically all of our guests range from a scale of "dancing makes me a bit shy and uncomfortable so I likely won't do it" to "I absolutely hate dancing, you'll never see me do it >:("”source ↗

“I'd hate to spend a few thousand on a DJ and lights and dance floor and whatever and everyone avoids it including my husband.”source ↗

Press-f-to-oof · r/weddingplanning · 1 upvotes

Where this came up

r/weddingplanningsocial anxietywedding planningwedding traditions

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